the happy housewife – Toni Anderson

by admin - July 13, 2009

Reality Check

I am not sure why I thought I could go on vacation, move, get ready for BlogHer, finish our school year, and take care of seven kids in a two week period. I am quickly realizing that I do not have time to get everything done. So, since I have to move, go to BlogHer, finish school, and take care of the kids this blog is the only thing I am able to cut back on.

But, I love you all! My time on vacation (and mostly off the computer) made me realize how much I enjoy interacting with my bloggy friends. So instead of leaving you for a week while I box up my life and move it across town I am going to have a Happy Housewife rerun week. But here is the deal, not only will I rerun a few Happy Housewife posts I am going to rerun posts from my personal blog I wrote a few years ago. Since most of you have never read my old blog, I thought it might be fun to get a little glimpse into my life a few years ago.

Below is a post I wrote almost 3 years ago. My husband was deployed and I was managing 6 small kids on the home front. I must have written this after a particularly trying day.

It is much easier to hire two babysitters and run errands with a close friend than to attempt it with 10 kids.
When you wake up at 6:45am to a fridge that has been without power all night, it is nice to have a neighbor who is awake to take and store your milk.
If you call and harass the military housing office enough times in a week, you finally get what you need on the first try.
If you accidently dry a crayola crayon in the dryer you will end up with the entire inside of your dryer the color of the crayon.
To remove melted crayon from the inside of a dryer turn the dryer on high and put in a damp towel. After about 15 minutes you will be able to wipe off most of the crayon from the inside of the dryer with the aformentioned towel.
To remove crayon from clothes apply Spray and Wash Dual Power to all crayon spots. Buy a new bottle of Spray and Wash, continue to apply to all spots. Soak in a mixure of oxy clean and detergent, wash, rinse, repeat. After about 5 times the crayon is gone.
Do not dry crayon free clothes in the dryer until you have removed all crayon from the dryer.
When your four year old looks down at the neighborhood park and starts screaming… “God is going to kill us all” just smile at your neighbors and quickly bring the child inside. It is not the time to discuss theology.
If you use all your canola oil to fry french fries earlier in the day you can use olive oil to make brownies. They just taste a bit different.
If you give 6 and 10 year old boys the job of washing your cabinets your floors will also end up washed.
If you try and get 6 kids packed up and ready to go to the neighborhood pool it will surely rain the minute you arrive.
No matter how bad the week gets I always get a fresh start on Sunday!

by admin - July 9, 2009

Our Story or HIStory

Happy has asked me to write about this part of our story. I’ll try to do my best to explain what happened when she asked me for a divorce and the aftermath of that phone call. If you are new to my site you might want to read the previous chapters in Our Story before reading on.

Happy let me know that we’d been living separate lives, more than the miles required. I hadn’t been writing her and although I was able to call pretty regularly we rarely discussed anything important. She lived her life in Florida with our daughter and I lived mine in Panama with work and whatever diversion I could muster. We had no basis to remain married and Happy made it clear that she wanted out.

I didn’t know then why I fought the divorce but there was no way I was going to let this marriage end. I didn’t know Happy or my daughter but I was determined to give the marriage my all and fight for it until I knew I’d spent everything I had to save it. Looking back, it seems so illogical and without any hope. (Aside – Writing this part of our story is even now convicting me that my passion and dedication has waned over the years. What I felt then was extreme sadness and loss but that motivated me to action. I need to regain some of that drive and serve my wife and family with the same zeal I had when I thought all could be lost)

I got leave from my command and flew home the next day. I don’t remember the ride home with Happy but I’m sure it was either frosty or hot but surely not cordial. We continued to fight for the next several days about whether we would divorce, how we would go forward and whether there was a future at all for us.

Happy told you I was an atheist. After the constant fighting and occasional cursing session from me, Happy’s parents suggested we meet with a Christian counselor. I was at my wit’s end and agreed to give it a try. The concepts he suggested to me seemed a little odd but I accepted the books he gave me and read them. Two of the books I remember are: Larry Crabb’s Inside Out and Gary Smalley’s If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist.

Both books had a profound effect on me. Smalley’s book outlines how a Christian is to live for his wife. He covered servant leadership and referred me to scripture to support his claims. I recall reading Ephesians and thinking how backwards the ideas seemed to me. I threw up my hands and decided to try some of the ideas out in our marriage – I mean nothing else seemed to be working.

Later I read Crabb’s book and leaned about the need for internal change rather than external coverings over the same selfish heart. I knew I couldn’t be selfless on my own power so I realized I needed something, someone, greater than me to lead me to serve my nascent family. I discovered that I wasn’t the end all be all of an evolutionary process but a child of God who hadn’t been serving Him and couldn’t serve my wife and daughter without Him. I’d been nearly broken by my failed marriage but He gave me the lifeline I needed to be redeemed from within and then he showed me what I needed to to do to redeem my marriage. I became a Christian because those ideas that seemed so foreign to me worked. I tried to serve my wife in the ways the Bible teaches and began to see a change in my heart and hers. It was counter-intuitive, I worked to deny my selfish desires and to serve her and my daughter as much as I could. Something strange began to happen in me. The more I served them, the more I wanted to serve and the happier I became. I felt the flickerings of true love start in me. I have to be honest, I wanted to love Happy and be loved by her but until I met Jesus I didn’t know how. Don’t get me wrong, God showers His blessings on believers and non-believers as He sees fit. I’m not saying that non-Christians can’t love, I’m just saying that its a lot easier to love when you’ve met the source of all love.

Let me be clear, I’m not perfect and I’m not even close to be best husband and father in the world. I get angry and say stupid things all the time. I fall back into selfishness and don’t do near enough for my wife and kids. What Happy saw in me was and is not from me. It is only God’s work in me that she saw then and that I need to let shine forth for now and forever.

Thanks for letting me share a part of my side of our story.

Writer’s note: This is the story of how I became The Happy Housewife. I am writing as I have time and try to publish a new chapter every few weeks. This page will be updated when I write the next chapter. If you don’t want to miss the next installment you can subscribe to my blog.

by admin - June 29, 2009

30 Days of Disney ~ Questions Answered

Time to answer some of the questions I have received during this series.

From Mary Beth: I’d love to go and take our girls in the fall, but don’t know if they are really old enough… the oldest will be 4 in March and the three little ones won’t be 3 until August. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I think they are definitely old enough to enjoy Disney this fall. You can also take advantage of the Armed Forces Salute and save yourself a ton of money. If I were going with 4 children under 5, I might consider asking another adult to join you. That way you have another adult to ride with a child on many of the rides.

From Lori– Question…do you have a suggestion for sunscreen? I KNOW we’ll need it!

I would chose a high spf sunscreen that is waterproof. There are a few rides that you will get wet on in the park, plus if you go in the summer you will probably end up pretty sweaty by the end of the day. You could also consider putting your kids in swim shirts, since those keep their protection even if they get wet. My kids often wear their Skinz to Sea World so they can play in the water without worrying about a sunburn.

From Liz and Kellie- how do you nap at Disney?? Do you go back to your hotel or just pick a quiet spot in the grass???

If you have little ones and the park is open late (until 10 or 11pm) I would recommend going back to the room, or perhaps sending one parent back with the nappers and the other parent staying with the bigger kids. You can catch a quick nap on a bench, or (and I know I will get an email about this) take a nap while watching a show in an air-conditioned auditorium. I use to nap in the Hall of Presidents…

From Annette- Just curious if the active/retired service member has to be “present” to use the tickets at Disney?

No, they do have to purchase the tickets, but you do not need to be with them to actually get into the park. You must be with the service member during the ticket purchase.

From Tammy- Do you know if the Armed Forces salute tickets have to be used in consecutive days?

No, they just have to be used before December 23rd for the Orlando parks. I believe the deadline for California was extended until September.

Readers’ favorite Disney websites: Allears.net, Mousesavers.com and Tourguidemike.com

by admin - June 28, 2009

30 Days of Disney ~ Disney Magic

I have decided to end my 30 Days of Disney series with the posts I wrote several months ago when we were visiting the parks. I wrote a post per park, so tonight it is all about The Magic Kingdom.

There is something special about the Magic Kingdom, from the minute you walk under the railroad and on to Main Street a feeling of happiness comes over you. From the ice cream vendor to the monorail driver to Sleeping Beauty, each cast member goes out of their way to make your day magical.

Day 3 started early as we left the house at 7:45 am for the Magic Kingdom. We purchased our Armed Forces Salute tickets and were pleasantly surprised when they sold us all six tickets for $99 each. The promotion allows for five $99 tickets, but they sold us the sixth one for $99 too.

We arrived in the park a few minutes after nine. My first Disney tip is to get there early. The earlier you arrive, the less crowded the park. We were able to ride Snow White, Pooh, Teacups, and the Tomorrowland Speedway before 10 am.

We then headed to Toontown to visit the Princesses. If you want to see the fairies, get there right when it opens at 10 am before it opens. By the time we got there at 10:15 the line was already 60 minutes long. My girls were not interested in the fairies so we waited about 5 minutes to visit Belle, Aurora, and Cinderella.

Second Disney tip: Get a Fast Pass! This saved us so much time. We ended up getting fast passes for Buzz Lightyear, Space Mountain (which is now under renovation), Thunder Mountain, and Peter Pan. The longest we waited with the fast pass was about 10 minutes, but the people without the fast past were waiting an hour.

Third Disney tip: Eat a huge breakfast before you get to the park and pack snacks and water. I am not sure what Disney’s food policy is, but we took some granola bars and cheerios for snacks in our backpack and when they checked it they didn’t say anything. Eating a large breakfast allows you to delay lunch. Lunchtime and parade times are the best time to go on rides.

We ate lunch at a place called the Harbor House. It is between Fantasyland and Liberty Square. It is one of the few places you can eat a semi-healthy lunch at the park. It is also less crowded than a lot of the more well known places and has ample seating. The kids had macaroni and cheese, apple slices and grapes. I had a tuna salad on wheat and it was as good as Panera. The total cost for our family of 8 was $50. Now I realize that is not cheap, but the kids ate fruit, drank milk (not soda) and everyone was full. We ate lunch late enough so that we didn’t have to eat dinner at the park, so I thought we got a good deal. On the park map is restaurant is listed as serving fish baskets and soups, but there is more to choose from on the menu. It is worth checking out.

About 7:30 pm we were all pretty tired so we decided to skip the fireworks (we can see them from my in-laws backyard anyway) and crowds and leave before the park closed at 8pm. This was a great idea for our family because we made it from Tomorrowland to our car in about 25 minutes.

We have Epcot and Animal Kingdom coming up next. We have only been to Animal Kingdom twice so I am excited to check it out.

Teacups

The Step Sisters and Mother

One of the step sisters went to go visit our son, who did not want to have his picture taken with her.

Tomorrowland Speedway- where you don’t need a license to drive.

Warming up to Cinderella

A family favorite- Buzz!

You are never too old for Mr. Lightyear….

Our relaxing lunch at the Harbor House, overlooking Thunder Mountain.

Where’s Jack Sparrow when you need him?

Magic Carpets (this ride was a favorite!)

Winding down on the carousel.

by admin - April 14, 2009

Our Time with Grandma

Most of you know my mom came and stayed with us for four weeks while I was on bed rest and then after Cora was born. Thankfully she brought her camera and took lots of pictures of the kids. Most of these memories I missed because I was either upstairs in bed or at the hospital. It was fun seeing her photos, and it looks like the kids had lots of fun too!

You can find more Wordless Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Mom.

by admin - March 22, 2009

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife

I have been struggling with my recent prescription for bed rest. I am a busy person by nature and have trouble “sitting” let alone staying in bed all day long. I want to make the most of this time and not have regrets, at the same time I want to do what is best for me and the baby… and for now that means hanging out in bed.

I also wasn’t sure what I was going to blog about (Yes, I know you want me to write more of Our Story… I will). Most of my blog is practical not philosophical. It is made up of my daily life, things I do every day and when my day is spent sitting in bed there is little to blog about. Thankfully my answer to what to write about over the next few weeks came via email today.

A reader wrote:

I am a mother of 3 kids, ages 7, 4, and 6m. I am in my 2nd year of home-schooling, but am quickly realizing that my giftedness is NOT in organization (of time, or house, or clutter, etc.) You are able to accomplish SO much with your time, would you mind sharing your schedule?? For example, what does a typical day look like for you (before bedrest, of course!!) What time did you get up? When do you have your prayer time?? When do you start school?? How many hours do you school in each day?? Is there a separate room for school?? When do you lesson plan, meal plan, grocery shop, fix meals?? When do you get to read YOUR books? When do you clean, sort through papers, file papers (DO you file papers???) Do you have certain chores that get done EACH day, if so, WHEN do you do those?? Any specific information would help me a great deal…

I was so happy to receive this email because it has given me something to write about. Over the next few weeks (or until I have the baby) I hope to publish a series of posts titled, A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife. Hopefully these posts will shed some light on how I manage our day to day living and accomplish the things that I blog about.

I am going to start this series talking about my kids. I realize I don’t blog much about them specifically, but truly they are the key to how I manage to get as much done as possible. My kids are old. There is a big difference between having 3 children who are 7, 4, 6m and having kids ages 3, 5, 7, 8, 12 and 14.

Many years ago when I had two children ages 2 and 4 my house was never as clean as it is today, I was not as organized, we lived on chicken nuggets and Lucky Charms, and I bought all our birthday cakes at Publix. They also went to preschool a few times a week. It was only when our younger children were born that I realized the need to be more organized, neater, healthier and thriftier. It was out of necessity that my way of thinking changed. I realized I needed to do a better job of training my children, not only to be more obedient but training them to be adults.

Training kids is hard, and almost always interrupts something. Many times it seems easier to let things slide regarding discipline or to do it ourselves regarding work. Do we really want to get off the phone, computer, stop school work, put down a book, or finish up in quickly the bathroom because we need to deal with an “issue?” Usually we don’t want to be interrupted, however missing these training opportunities will cost you in the long run. A disobedient 3 year old can be cute (or not) but a disobedient 13 year old who is taller than you is dangerous. It is easier to clean the sinks yourself, and probably you do a better job than your five year old but, if you keep cleaning the sink you will end up with a 10, 15 or 20 year old that doesn’t know how to clean a bathroom.

My advice to moms of littles (and I am one myself) is to make training your children a priority. First time obedience is key and teaching them how to help around the house is very important. My kids have all provided me with different opportunities to grow as a mom. I have had some that were more compliant and helpful than others. A few were just plain difficult. None of them are perfect and we still work on cheerfulness, joy, kindness, and self control every day.

When my two oldest were about 6 and 8 I realized the need to have helpers in my house. Dh worked 70+ hours a week and I was at home with a newborn, toddler and my older two. I could not possibly get everything done each day. I realized that training them to take over certain age appropriate jobs would make everyone’s lives easier. From there it snowballed, today my now 12 and 14 year old are capable of running our house. From cooking meals to cleaning, to babysitting they can do it all, and at times they do.

This does not mean they aren’t kids, they are. Because the workload is split between so many people in our home there is plenty of free time for everyone, including me, which is why I am able to write this blog.

Enough of the philosophical and on to the practical.

Training tools I recommend:

These books have really helped me grow in my parenting.

These tools have helped me get organized and have given me some great ideas on child training.

Now (although not really now because of bed rest) I use Motivated Moms to assign chores and keep our house clean. I print out the weekly chore list and assign everyone their jobs for the week. When someone finishes a job (and it had been inspected if necessary) we check the box marking that job completed. Before Motivated Moms I would print out a weekly chore list and post it on the fridge.

This is a sample of chores our children are assigned each week.

3 yo: dusting (with help), collect laundry, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, set table

5 yo: windex, collect laundry, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, match socks, dust pan, vacuum (with the little vacuum), set table, help with meal prep

7 yo: dust, windex, collect laundry, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, sweep, wipe counters, vacuum, set table, clear table, help with meal prep

8 yo: dust, windex, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, sweep, vacuum, wipe counters, wet jet, clean sinks, set table, clear table, help with meal prep

12 yo: assist younger siblings with chores, dust, windex, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, sweep, vacuum, wipe counters, wet jet, clean sinks, clean toilets, mop floors, set table, clear table, make meals, clean car, sweep porches, fix things around the house, assist with big projects

14 yo: assist younger siblings with chores, dust, windex, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, laundry, sweep, vacuum, wipe counters, clean sinks, clean toilets, mop floors, set table, clear table, meal plan, make meals, assist with big projects

Many of the organizing projects I write about on this site are done with the help of most if not all of my kids. I rarely work alone. I think working along side your children is a great way to build relationships and teach by example. More on that in the next post.

Other posts related to kids and chores:

Little Kids and Chores

Laundry

by admin - March 19, 2009

Ultimate Blog Party ~ Welcome to The Happy House

Welcome to all my Ultimate Blog Party Hoppers! I know you are all busy jumping from blog to blog finding all sorts of new and wonderful bloggers. To keep it short and sweet I’ll introduce myself and then tell you the rest of the story with pictures to keep you moving right along.

I am The Happy Housewife. I have been blogging on this site for over a year. I feel like my site can be summed up by my tagline, “thriving on one income in a two income world.” I am always looking for ways to save money and reuse items in order to live thriftier and “greener.” This year our challenge is to live on half my husband’s income in order to save for a house. I am also a military wife and mom of 6 (soon to be 7 kiddos) so I write about military life, kids, and homeschooling. The newest project on my site is writing Our Story, or the story of how my husband and I met, got married a few weeks later and well, it isn’t finished yet so I don’t want to give away the ending.

Now on with the photos….

This is me, the picture is actually a bit deceiving because we don’t live on a farm… we live in the suburbs of D.C.

This is the rest of the fam…

Yes, I am married to Mr. Incredible. You can read all about him here.

We have a big family, sometimes people ask if we are trying to field a baseball team, I tell them we prefer soccer.

We love parties so much around here we celebrate 8 of them every year… but that wasn’t enough so this year we are adding another!

We especially love making and eating cake, would you care to join us for some ice cream cake?

Trifle?

Castle Cake?

Star Wars Cake?

or perhaps a Barbie Cake?

I almost always make the cakes myself, because I am frugal…. and I have lots of help in the kitchen.

I love to cook and share many of our family recipes too.

Okay, I don’t really make meals like that, they look more like this…

Every other week I write about Commissary deals to help military families stretch their grocery budget.

I also run a program that donates expired coupons to our military families overseas.

Occasionally I will post super great bargains, like how to get free ice cream just by going out in your pajamas.

We love to have fun and learn ways to make things cheaper and better ourselves.

I love to sew and find new ways to use old things.

Shirt

Dress

Thanks for stopping by, I promise I won’t keep you any longer.

For lots of frugal ideas, “green” living tips, homeschooling adventures, great recipes, organizing tips, military deals, and fun crafty projects subscribe to The Happy Housewife and have each post delivered straight to your inbox or reader.

You can also follow me on Twitter for daily musings, deals, and updates.

If you have a moment you can hop over to my giveaway and enter to win a copy of Melissa’s Great Book of Produce.

There are some great prizes up for grabs at the Ulitmate Blog Party this year. I hope I win some cute hair bows from Chesapeake Ribbons, for my soon to be 3 girls. Or maybe a Made by Michelle diaper bag for the new baby. A gift card to the Heavenly Homemakers gift shop would be great too!

by admin - February 14, 2009

Second Hand Shopping Just Got Better

If you are like me your children’s items enter your home via thrift stores, yard sales, and hand-me-downs. While I love saving money, their safety is my number one concern. Items are not a good deal if they could potentially harm your child. I remember years ago we received a pack-n-play from a friend. I found out after using it for several months that it had been recalled. We stopped using it and purchased a different one.

Now it is easy to find out if those second hand items are safe. Parents.com has a feature that allows you to check the recall status of any baby item or toy. You enter the name, type of product, and time frame (if you know it) and it searches for recall information.

If the item has been recalled the site provides detailed information as well as weblinks if available. This site is free and doesn’t require you to register, which of course means saving time!

You can access the site by clicking on this link. Their information is compiled from the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, and other sources. For more information concerning recalls, visit www.cpsc.gov or, for car seats, www.safercar.gov.

by admin - February 13, 2009

Shock and Awe

Start at the beginning… Part 1

My family greeted me with smiles and hugs. Everyone was anxious to hear how my trip to Pennsylvania had been. We all gathered in the family room and my family listened as I recounted my trip. Long-haired hippie sat next to me in silence on the love seat (ironic isn’t it?). The small talk went on for about 45 minutes, which was probably the longest 45 minutes of my life. I couldn’t quite bring myself to tell my family what I had done.

Finally I said something like, “Well, I got married.” Then I passed out. Okay, kidding, I didn’t pass out, but I wish I would have in order to miss what happened next.

My father, very calmly said, “To someone we know?”

Long haired-hippie raised his hand and said, “Me.”

I think they would have been happier had I married Osama Bin Laden… my sister immediately started crying. My dad settled into his seat in preparation for what was to come and I can’t remember exactly what my mother said, but I am sure it was nice and encouraging… because that is just the kind of person she is.

My brother sat in his seat smiling…..

Honestly the rest of the night is a blur, and for that I am thankful. My dad never raised his voice, although I am sure he wanted to kill one of us… probably long-haired hippie, but who knows. After a few minutes my dad looked long-haired hippie straight in the eye and said,

“Did you know she listens to Rush Limbaugh?”

And of course he didn’t know that I listened to Rush, because, well we didn’t know each other. Long-haired hippie looked at me with surprise. We had been married for about 3 hours and our first argument was going to be over Rush, this was starting so well.

My dad then spent what seemed like an eternity telling us why we couldn’t get married. The sad part was I agreed with 95% of what he was saying, but because I hate to be wrong, I argued against most of his points.

Finally my mom looked at my dad and said something about him needing to stop talking because what was done was done and nothing he said could change anything. Then she got up from her seat, walked towards long-haired hippie and said,

“Welcome to the family!”

And with that she walked over and gave dh (long-haired hippie) a big hug.

It was around this time I realized I wasn’t going to be sleeping at parent’s house that night, even though I really wanted to. I couldn’t imagine going back to the dirty apartment occupied by a crazy blind man with someone I didn’t really know. Why this thought didn’t occur to me 12 hours earlier I am not sure, but nonetheless my dad made it clear that I had created this mess and I was going to live with it. I went to my old room, packed a few things and left the house, wondering if I would ever be welcome there again.

Part 6 – Moving Out, Moving In, and Moving Out

by admin - February 13, 2009

Not Again!

The boys have lice, again. I am really hoping the girls do not get it. Last time the girls got it and the boys didn’t get it… I buzzed the boys hair as soon as we found a bug, so hopefully this will not last as long as last time.

Halfway through the haircut, he wanted to try out a mohawk, so he had one for about 5 minutes.

The girls are petrified they will get lice again, they are taking precautions…

I broke out the oreos and the Wii in hopes to comfort all the sadness at our house right now. We were supposed to go out of town this weekend, but we had to cancel.

My nephews had lice last month and my brother made this video of the bugs up close. It is gross so only watch if bugs don’t creep you out.