by admin -

Toad-o-pia

I love warm weather because my kids can play outside without hats, boots, gloves, scarves, snotty noses and everything else that comes with winter. Outside play allows them to burn off all that “kid” energy and my house stays cleaner, although my yard is a wreck!

My children have this amazing ability to take toys and use them for something completely different. It seems they rarely play with a toy the way it was intended by the manufacturer.

Last week they found a whole new use for Frisbees.

Introducing Toad-o-pia

What about your kids? Do they play with toys the way the manufacturers intended them to be played or do they create their own way?

 

by admin -

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ Handling Strong Willed Children

A question from Denise:

I have a son who is almost 3. He will begin preschool this fall. For the past few months he has been “strong willed”, er DIFFICULT is more like it. He is like this with ME only, and not his Dad. I am a SAHM and am with him the majority of the time. All I hear is that “he is going through a phase”. Well my sanity is out the window and my nerves are shot. So…..I am wondering if you’ve had this problem with any of your kids, particularly your boys, and if so how did you get through it?

Before I start let me give this disclaimer. I am a young mom, while I have 7 kids, my oldest is only 14. I have not finished the race, so to speak. I have made many, many mistakes. My children are not perfect. They disobey, and I am not always consistent. What I write are my opinions on what has worked or hasn’t worked for our family.

Your son is probably difficult with you and not dad because he is with you all the time. You are the one who creates and enforces all the rules.

When it comes to dealing with strong-willed children remember these four words.

Consistent, Correction, Compliment, Connection

Consistency- When you make a rule stick with it and do not keep changing the rules. Strong willed children need firm boundaries. I would also suggest that you keep the “rules” to a minimum. Say yes as much as you can. Try to decide if you are saying no out of convenience or because you are keeping your child safe, developing character, etc… If a child is allowed to get away with something ten times, and then disciplined for it on the eleventh time they child will continue to push the limits.

Correction- Create consequences for disobedience and apply them consistently every time. As a mom of a few strong willed children I will tell you this is the hardest part. You will spend a lot of time correcting your child. Persevere. The road is long, you will get tired of correcting. There will be days when that is all you do. Stay the course, it does work, but some child need more “help” in this area than others.

Compliment- Pay attention when they do something right, obey the first time, or show positive behavior. Let them know that you appreciate it when they do obey. I had one child who was (and can still be) particularly difficult. I try very hard to remember to praise him. I tell him what a good big brother he is, how strong he is when he carries in the groceries, what a good helper he is when he clears the table. These compliments always seem to help him work harder and continue with the positive behavior.

Connection- Children who are strong willed tend to be… well, frustrating. It is so important to show these children unconditional love. This does not mean there are not consequences for disobedience, what it means is that once the consequence has been applied the child is loved and hugged as if nothing ever happened. It is easy to physically pull away from these children, but they need a lot of hugs!

A few remaining thoughts. A child who is disobedient is disobedient. They might be tired, hungry, stressed, out of sorts, but these things don’t cause disobedience, they just allow what is already in their heart to rise to the surface. That being said, give your child as many opportunities as possible to obey. If you child becomes cranky after 7:30 pm do not make dinner reservations for the family at 8 pm. Put them to bed and get a sitter. Don’t load your child up on sugary foods and them expect them to sit still for a two hour piano recital. Create an environment that encourages obedience and does not set them up for failure.

As I said before I am not an expert, my kids are still young. So far, these techniques have worked for us. It is up to you and your husband to determine what will work best for your family.

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by admin -

Keep the Kids Busy without Television

So what are you going to do if you once you turn off the television?

First enter to win the Subway P.E.P. kit. 🙂

Go outside. There are so many things to do outside with your kids, sidewalk chalk, play catch, ride bikes, scooters, roller blade, walk, hike, explore, go to the park, look for bugs, sandbox, water table, sprinkler…

If the weather is still crummy there are many inside activities to replace television. Play a game, read a book, get out the puzzles, build with blocks or legos, play dolls. Have an indoor picnic, or tea party.

Crafts are also fun. Take a risk and get out the play dough. Even better make your own play dough. Stickers, colored pencils, construction paper and scissors (if they are old enough) can keep kids busy for hours. You can even use old shoe boxes to create miniature scenes from their favorite book.

One way I am able to fit in blogging, paying bills, writing emails, and other household admin tasks is to work along side my kids. Last year I wrote about some of our favorite table top toys that help keep my little children busy while I work.

I realize that many moms use the television to babysit their children while they do important things like take a shower or make dinner. I’ve been there, done that. Sometimes, especially with active little ones, television seems to be the only thing to keep them mesmerized while you get something done. I would encourage you to involve your kids, even the little ones, in your meal prep. They can help set the table, mix food together, and do other small jobs. Something I would do with one particularly active child was to fill up the kitchen sink with water and bubbles and let him play with a few of his toys in the water while I made dinner. He made a mess, but it was easy to clean up and he stayed occupied and in my line of sight.

As for getting that ever elusive shower, from the time my children were very little we encouraged room or crib time. We would put the kids in their room or cribs with a few safe toys and then leave them alone. We even put on “room time” music. This let our children know it wasn’t nap time, just time for them to stay in their rooms and play by themselves. When they got a bit older we would sometimes put on an audio book for them to listen to while they played in their room. The key to this technique is to make sure the rooms are kid friendly. If there are things your child could get hurt on in their room this is not a good idea. I found that if we started this when they were young (a few months old) by the time they were three or four years old they really enjoyed their room time. Usually we have special toys that only come out during room time as well.

We did put up a safety gate to keep a few children in their rooms during room time. This was more for their protection and to keep them from running around the house, or possibly outside while I was in the shower and couldn’t hear what was going on.

Turning off the television definitely takes extra effort on the part of the parent. It means getting organized and planning activities to keep your kids busy throughout the day. As with everything in life the best things are usually the hardest things. It might be hard to limit the television at first, but you will definitely reap the rewards.

Check back tomorrow for some ideas on what you can do with your no TV time, plus a giveaway!

 

by admin -

Schedules and Kids

I think schedules or at least routine is incredibly important in a child’s life. Over the years I have discovered that my children behave significantly better if they know what is expected of them on a daily basis. I use Manager’s of Their Homes as a framework for creating our schedule. I think this is a great resource, but for those who are completely unscheduled this book can be overwhelming.

Each August I create a master schedule for our family. It usually lasts about a month, and then I start to see areas that need to be modified. This is because my children change and grow each day and the things they need from me change as well.

Now that we have been schooling for eight months our schedule looks more like this.

  • 7-7:30 Kids wake up
  • 7:30-9:00 Showers, breakfast, clean-up
  • 9-10 Little girls play on rug or color at table, mom and 7 yo work on school, 8, 12, 14 yo work on independent work
  • 10-11 Three youngest play, 8 yo school with mom, 12, 14 yo independent work
  • 11-12 Three youngest play, 8 yo finishes school, 12 yo goes over work with mom, 14 yo independent work
  • 12-1 Lunch/ Clean-up
  • 1-1:30 Everyone is getting back into their routine, older kids are usually working on school
  • 1:30-2:15 Science or Social Studies with 8 and 12 yo
  • 2:15-3:00 Meet with 14 yo to go over work, check answers, discuss school
  • 3-3:30 Chores, projects w/ mom
  • 3:30-4:30 Free time

During my school time with my 7 yo, my younger two girls usually sit at the table and work on puzzles, crafts, or other preschool type toys.

My kids have been known to get up really early and work on their school work before everyone else is awake.

On Sunday nights I print out a schedule for each school aged child. The schedule details all the assignments they are to complete for the week. This allows them to work ahead if they want to.

Currently we have our family bible time in the evenings. For a few years we had one in the mornings as well as the evenings, but this year it wasn’t working. Each child has bible time in their curriculum, and we work on it individually rather than as a group.

When the weather is nice sometimes I will work with a child on the front porch so the other children can play outside. When we had a fenced back yard I would let the little children play outside in the back while I watched them through the glass doors.

I will let my 5 and 7 yo play educational computer games for a limited time during the day. I usually don’t like for them to spend more than 1/2 on the computer per day. Joy has a compiled a list of great educational sites for kids on her blog.

During the week we do not allow the children to play on the computer or watch movies. There are exceptions is someone is sick, or I am sick, but we try to limit computer/movie/ Wii time to the weekend, and even then it is limited.

My homeschool curriculum is listed on a separate page on my site.

Currently my two preschoolers are girls, when my preschoolers were boys things were much different. My girls are happy to sit, color and play at the table for long periods of time, while my boys would have considered that torture. Last year I wrote a series of posts on preschoolers, I listed them below.

What to Expect from your Preschooler

Energetic Activities

Great Preschool Books and Toys

Messy Fun

Make it Yourself Preschool Activities

Printables for Preschoolers

Many times my dining room table looks like this.

While I sit at the other end and work with another child on school.

I am a neat, organized person by nature and I start to get headaches, nausea, and the shakes when my house looks like this on a regular basis.

But, I have realized over the years that I don’t want my kids to look back and remember me like this…

While it is important to teach children responsibility and how to pick up after themselves, it is okay to let them create, make messes, and have fun, as long as they clean up when they are finished.

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by admin -

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ Be an Example

In my last post I discussed the importance of training your children, not only to be obedient, but to work. Having children that are willing to be part of our family team is one way I am able to accomplish many of the things I do each day. I realize it takes more time and effort on your part to train your children, but consider it an investment in everyone’s future.

One of the first verses our children learn is Philippians 2:14  “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Not only is it important that your children obey, it is important that they do it cheerfully. In our house complaining about doing a job is the same as not doing it at all. We believe the bible teaches us to do all things joyfully, not grudgingly or with resentment. While I realize this is an impossible goal, it is something we work towards every day.

The funny thing about doing things joyfully is that it starts with us as moms. If we constantly complain about housework, chores, dirty diapers,  or poor behavior we cannot possible expect our children to operate with a cheerful and joyful attitude when they are confronted with situations they are unhappy about.

When my children are dealing with bad attitudes I remind them of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 which says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” We discuss the fact that the bible does not tell us to be joyful only when we are getting our own way, but rather to be joyful always, regardless of our circumstances. Not only is this a great verse for kids, it works for moms as well.

So, be a joyful mom, even when things stink… and I know they stink a lot.

Next, work with your kids. I don’t train my kids so that I can lay on the couch all day and read magazines while they keep my house squeaky clean. I work with them because I want them to value work, and value serving others. By picking up the downstairs before dad comes home we are serving their father. By keeping the stairs free of toys, we are serving everyone who walks up and down the stairs. By learning how to follow a recipe they are serving our family and others by having the ability to take a plate of cookies to a new neighbor or sick friend. By learning how to obey they are serving the rest of the family by minimizing interruptions due to discipline issues.

Lead your children by example and don’t expect from them things you don’t exemplify yourself.  Don’t expect your four year old to have the same  skills you do. Keep your expectations low, and your praises high. Let your children know how much you appreciate their hard work. Make work enjoyable by leading with a positive attitude.

Now on to the practical.

To keep cleaning fun (sort of) we have 5 minute pick ups throughout the day. With seven people at home all day our house gets messy really quick! After breakfast, before lunch, and before dinner I will set the timer for 5 minutes. Everybody works as hard and fast as they can to pick up the mess. I usually have a bigger kid work along side a younger one to help them put things away correctly. The kids, especially the boys, love the idea of “racing” through the house to get it clean.

Make it easy to clean up. I love systems, charts, labels, and everything Type A like that…. but if my systems are too elaborate my little kids cannot be involved. Unloading the dishwasher is easy for my little kids because many of our dishes are kept where they can reach them. Picking up is easy because toys are stored in baskets and bins. I have kid friendly cleaning tools to enable even the toddlers to work with us. A little child might not be able to sweep, but they can use the dust pan. Find ways to involve your children at the earliest age.

Silly is okay. When my older two were little they would sing the Barney “Clean-up” song when they had to pick up their toys. It drove me nuts! But I realized that as long as they were singing they would clean…. so I endured the pain. Now my little kids like pretend to be Wonder Pets while they clean. They have only seen the show a few times, but the song stuck. My children, the Wonder Pets, save the day by cleaning and picking up their toys, all the while singing the theme song. Annoying yes, but it works.

Accept the fact that your home is not going to look like a Better Homes and Garden’s cover. If your kids are home with you all day, or you have lots of little kids your house is going to get messy. I want my children to behave and take care of our things, but I also want them to be able to play. It is their house too. I don’t like for them to go from room to room making and leaving messes (we are still working on this one), but they are allowed to get out and play with their toys. Perhaps you can create a space for them to play during the day. We have a small area rug in our living room. While I am doing school with the older children at our dining room table the younger children are allowed to get out a bin of toys and play with them on the rug. If they tire of those toys, they need to put them back in the bin before a new bin comes out. This method has worked well for our family.

Clean up as you go. I do not like to walk out of a messy room, and I don’t like my children to either. I have found that tackling a job right away is almost always easier and quicker than putting it off until later. This is one area we are really working on in our house. For example, one of the kids sweeps the kitchen floor after lunch. If they forget, the crumbs from the kitchen are tracked through other parts of the house. When this happens not only do they have to sweep, they have to vacuum and their work has just doubled.

Today my five year old helped me put the inserts into the diapers.

While it took twice as long as doing it myself, I couldn’t help but think that in a few months she will be able to do this job on her own.

We had a great time talking about diapers and the new baby and I made sure she knew how much I appreciated her help.

Please know that I write these things as a reminder to myself. I am not always joyful, and I struggle with allowing my children to do things that I know I can do better and faster. My kids don’t always obey and they have been known to complain a time or two. We are a work in progress! It is my hope that these posts will help us all to grow as moms.

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Coming up next… Our Schedule

by admin -

Snow Day, Again

Apparently snow is a big deal here in Maryland. Everything shuts down for the day when the white stuff starts falling. Good for the kids as they had dad to take them out in the snow and were able to stay out almost the whole day.

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You can find more Wordless Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Mom.

by admin -

Christmas Shopping for Kids

Every year I face the same dilemma, my kids (who are normally broke) want to buy Christmas presents for their siblings. My dilemma is two-fold, one I don’t like the idea of giving the kids money to purchase gifts, I think they should earn the money. Second, I hate extremely dislike standing in the dollar store with 5 kids trying to help them pick out Christmas gifts for each other.

This year I had an idea. For several years we had a points store at our home where the kids could pick out prizes based on completed school work, good behavior, etc… After mulling over my Christmas quandary, I thought, why not create a Christmas store? I sort through my gift stash and do a little extra shopping then create a “store” in my bedroom. The kids will all have the opportunity to visit the store a few days before Christmas and purchase gifts for one another.

The only problem that remained was the money, so I decided to create a Christmas job chart. Each child’s jobs are color coded with dollar amounts next to them. When they complete a job they are paid immediately with Christmas dollars. The dollars are put into a Merry Money jar and on December 23rd they can go shopping at Mom’s Christmas Store.

I am thrilled to see my kids trying to find more ways to earn money so they can buy more gifts for their siblings. I am also thrilled that many of my household projects are getting done thanks to my new commission system. For my little kids, their jobs are ones that they would normally not be paid for, collecting laundry, picking up, etc, because I had trouble finding big projects that they were capable of doing. But my big kids have tackled some lingering household projects. So far my dishwasher, fridge, stove and microwave have been cleaned out, my couch has been vacuumed, my coupons sorted, walls washed, laundry done, and plants watered. I don’t even have to ask them to do the jobs.

If you are interested in using this idea for your kids here are a few tips. Pay kids for jobs completed immediately. This is especially important for little kids who thrive on instant gratification. Use clear jars to store the money so the kids are able to see their earnings and are motivated to do more.  Make jobs age appropriate. There is no reason to give a 14 year old a dollar for unloading the dishwasher or ask a 3 year old to clean the stove. When stocking your “store” price items clearly. My little kids don’t understand the concept of money too well but they are able to count. Items in the “store” will all be priced at an even dollar amount. The child will be able to count out how many dollars they need to purchase an item. There is no tax and no change. (We can save that lesson for another time)

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The Merry Money jars are filling up, my house is getting cleaner and I have avoided taking six kids Christmas shopping!

For more Works for Me Wednesday visit Rocks in My Dryer.

by admin -

August Challenge ~ Face Time

For all of my readers who don’t know this, I have another blog with two other moms called Happy to be at Home. We are running a carnival of sorts titled End ’08 Great, six months of challenges to end the year right. Last month was Conquer the Clutter and this month the challenge is Face Time with the Kids. This couldn’t be better timing for me. As I attempt to plan for the upcoming school year, time with my kids definitely drops way too low on my “to-do” list. Even though I am doing something for the kids (school planning), I still need to spend “face time” with them every day.

This week I have committed to spending each morning, uninterrupted with the kids. No email, phone calls, bills, lesson planning, coupons, menu planning, blogging, etc… This is tough because my inbox is always full and my phone rings frequently throughout the day.

Today we spent the morning learning spanish, coloring, playing games and reading stories. Tomorrow we have a trip to Target planned. (This is a really big deal because normally I shop alone) I haven’t figured out Thursday and Friday yet, but I think we will probably take a trip to the park and possibly a bike ride.

The bottom line is I don’t have many super great creative kid ideas, because I don’t need them! My kids desire time with me, whether it is reading, playing a game, riding bikes, or helping me in the kitchen. It doesn’t matter what we are doing, as long as we are doing it together.

Here we are attempting to play memory with a two year old. Needless to say the game ended up being played like this;  pick four to eight pieces, see if you have a match, throw the piece if you don’t like the animal you picked, if you do like the animal make the animal noise and crawl around the house. My eight year old did not really like this version of the game, but he is a rule follower. The two and four year old had a blast!

by admin -

Am I Crazy?

Confession time… my kids dislike fruit and vegetables. Each child has a few favorites, but as a whole they squirm and grimace when something green in color is set in front of them. It is my goal to change this in my kids. I want them to like most fruits and veggies, and actually smile when they see a piece of broccoli on their plate. I have, in the past, hid fruits and veggies in other foods in an attempt to trick them into eating the good stuff. It has worked, but they haven’t developed a taste for all things healthy.

So, I have developed a plan. I am going to pay my children to try new foods. Laugh at me if you will, but I think my idea might work. Each day I introduce a few fruits and vegetables. If they try the food I pay them a dime. Yes I am cheap, my oldest kids actually laughed when I told them about the pay out, but it is working.

I made up a list with my kids names at the top and the fruits and veggies down the left side. When they try a food we put either a y (like it) or n (don’t like it) in the box under their name. I can keep track of which foods were tried and I now have a running list of healthy foods my kids like or dislike. Some of the items on the list are foods we eat regularly but certain kids don’t ever try them. Others are items I never buy because I don’t like them. My husband was excited about this plan until I informed him that grown-ups don’t get paid for trying new foods.

Our first food was yellow pepper. My child who loves yellow peppers was excited to earn an easy dime. The other kids were not as enthused.

Last night we tried sweet potato and broccoli. The broccoli was a big thumbs up, but the sweet potato was not a winner.

Today for lunch we tried strawberries and blueberries. My kids eat a lot of strawberries in smoothies, but don’t eat fresh ones very often. The blueberries were a big, big flop. No one liked them. At least they will eat the blueberries in smoothies. The strawberries earned a thumbs up.

We are heading out of town for the weekend so there will probably be little new foods tried, but I plan to start up again when we return home on Monday. If you are interesting in bribing your kids to try new foods, you can download my check-off chart.

by admin -

Summer Routine

The past few days have shown me the need for a summer routine. Usually we school through the summer, but after this year we needed a little break. We will probably pick school back up the first week of August, so until then we need to find something to do with all of our free time. Well, I don’t need to find anything to do with my free time, I have countless sewing projects, emails to respond to, bills to pay, rooms to paint, clothes to sort, furniture to paint, boxes to unpack, shelves to build, blogs to read, school planning to do, and a garage to clean. My kids however, don’t seem to have anything to do but to get into trouble.

So I have decided to start a little summer routine.

  • Wake up
  • Check email
  • Make breakfast (I hope to start the older kids making breakfast for the family at least a few days a week by the end of the summer)
  • Get dressed
  • Go to the park
  • Leave the park and go on a walk
  • Come home, eat a cookie on the front porch
  • Color/ draw
  • Eat lunch
  • Toddler Naps

That is as far as I have planned out my routine. In the evening Dad has been coming home and either taking them to the pool or the park to wear them out before bed. It is working. The kids love this routine so far because they know they get to play at the park and the big kids know they will get to hike. My oldest is also earning some P.E. hours because she has been playing basketball during our park time. The other benefit is that I am getting some exercise pushing the double jogger all over the base.

Here are some pictures from our park/hikes this week.

I hope I can keep this up throughout the summer, the kids are behaving much better and sleeping soundly at night.