Category: Military

Still sick, although slightly better than the day before. I forced myself out of the house in order to buy a memory card for the camera my daughter got for Christmas. (I ordered one, but somehow it got lost in the shuffle 🙁 ) and some storage boxes for those darn rainbow loom bands that have now overtaken my entire house.

I decided that even though I still didn’t feel great I would take my two younger boys to dinner and a movie. One of the things that stinks about deployment is that you are the only parent, and so everything falls on you. Since my boys tend to get in trouble frequently, some days it seems like most of my communication with them is correction.

Like today, when I walked outside to see the 20 foot ladder leaned against the side of the house and the open tool box in the front yard….

Apparently a toy had landed on the roof, and you know the rest of the story.

I wanted to have some purposeful positive interaction so we headed to get subs and then see a movie.

These two have been handling the deployment very differently. One acts like he doesn’t care at all and the other has become even more melancholy than usual.

It’s hard to get boys to open up about things (at least my boys) so I figured we could just have fun and forget about life for a few hours. It was going great until an ad ran in the movie theatre that showed families sharing notes to their husbands, fathers, brothers, sisters, etc that are deployed this Christmas season.

My heart sank as the ad played on the big screen. I could see my younger son shifting uncomfortably in his seat as the ad continued to play. He was trying very hard not to cry.

So much for being distracted.

The boys did love the movie (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty) and we had a good time together. Going to movies is always dad’s job in our family but I had such a good time I might try to steal it from him after he gets home next year. 😉

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

All I wanted for Christmas was to be alone. I realize that many people look forward to spending Christmas with the folks that they love, but I wanted something different.

I’d been dreading Christmas since we found out about the deployment this summer. I didn’t want to spend Christmas huddled around the computer using FaceTime to spend time together as a family.

Tired from all the shopping and wrapping and fighting a nasty cold I just wanted to skip Christmas altogether.

Instead of being alone I had extra people at my house all day Christmas Eve. We even had extra people spend the night. Normally I’m up for guests 365 days a year, but this year was different.

I woke up Christmas morning with a horrible headache, which got worse as the day went on. I tried to put on a happy face for the kids (the littles were just really excited about the big day) and muddle through it.

I tried to lay down throughout the day hoping to get rid of the headache, but it just got worse. My kids ate cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

My house is a disaster.

I wish it went differently. Fortunately my kids were so excited about their new toys they didn’t really notice that I was up and down all day. They didn’t care that they ate cereal for dinner.

It wasn’t the day that I wanted, but it was the day I got and it’s one day closer to being back together as a family again.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

I’m definitely sick.

Why this really matters, I’m not sure. Mom’s aren’t allowed to get sick. And when they do get sick, nothing changes.

They still make meals, do laundry, shuttle kids around, break up fights, wipe faces, fix toys, pick up messes, and sweep floors.

I’m sick enough to feel terrible, but not quite sick enough to sleep through Christmas. I’m doing all the usual Christmas cold sickness remedies, vitamins, lots of water, a only doing what needs to get done (which strangely takes the entire day).

On a happier note, our package arrived today. We hurried home from a Christmas party to skype with dad so the kids could watch him open his gifts from us. In typical Christmas fashion he wanted the kids to open “just one present” today while he was opening his.

How could I say no?

The kids got to open one gift and that made their day. Well except Cora, who has entered the “every gift someone else gets is better than her own” phase of her life.

The kids are getting excited about Christmas and I’m hoping that we can keep enough of our Christmas traditions to make things seem at least sort of normal around here. I’ve been dreading this day since I found out about the deployment, but I’ve realized that looking ahead doesn’t get me anywhere.

One day at a time….

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

We had our 14th annual cookie frosting party today. I still cannot believe that we’ve been doing this for 14 years. It started when we lived in Norfolk, VA when when our oldest kids were three and five. I think we invited neighbors and a few friends from church.

Over the years we’ve had parties with just a handful of kids and one with over forty. Each year they are a little bit different, but always filled with sugary, sprinkle-y, fun.

I’m definitely getting sick. It stinks. I’m trying not to think about it too much because I don’t want to be sick on Christmas. Not because it will ruin Christmas, but because all I can think about is being strong on Christmas for the kids.

I have no idea how they are going to feel on Christmas, whether there will be tears or if the gifts will make then forget, just for a bit.

 

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

In a moment of insanity I decided to head to the mall with my three little girls to get them a few long sleeved shirts.

We also did this….

 

She was so brave, not even a tear until after it was all over!

As we were heading up the escalator and I was giving myself a little pat on the back for surviving the mall with the three little girls… Cora fell down the escalator.

Like head over heels, out of control, fall down the escalator.

I was able to grab her after the second tumble and she was fortunate to only have a little scratch on her leg.

I think I’m starting to get sick, which would just stink but is probably inevitable.

I can’t believe Christmas is just a few days away and that we will be celebrating it without dad for the first time. I know this is nothing new for many families, but it just doesn’t seem right.

Not at all.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

We baked cookies today. Lots of them, in preparation for our annual cookie frosting party. Usually it is a really big deal, but this year I’m just happy to get cookies made.

I’m considering taking the kids out Christmas shopping. I haven’t actually been Christmas shopping  this year. I’ve done all my Christmas shopping online, except for the candy I bought at the grocery store this week.

I miss Christmas shopping which is kind of funny because usually my shopping goes like this.

Leave all the kids with dad and head to the stores. Wander the stores, overwhelmed by the endless choices, people, and lack of parking. Also, I’m usually freezing. Come home and order everything online.

This year we’ve given the UPS guy some great cardio has he walks up our driveway delivering gifts. My four year old calls him Santa.

But without actually attempting to go to the store it doesn’t seem quite right. I hate leaving the kids because I already have to leave them for necessities like medical appointments.

If there is one thing this deployment has taught me is to stop being so judgmental. I’ve never really thought of myself as that way until I was at the commissary last night.

When I parked my car there was a car parked in front of me and had something (or someone) bouncing around in the backseat. As I walked by the car I noticed a boy, about seven or eight sitting (bouncing) in the back seat and a sleeping toddler strapped into the carseat next to them.

My first thought was… OH MY WORD, THEY LEFT THEIR LITTLE KIDS IN THE CAR!!!!

But then I started thinking about it.

• Maybe they are just running in for diapers.
• Maybe they are out of milk.
• It isn’t very cold outside, actually it is quite nice and the kids are dressed appropriately for the weather.
• We are on base, it is pretty safe.
• Maybe they are a single parent.
• Maybe the kids are being picked up from day care after a long week and they didn’t want to wake up the sleeping toddler.

I’m not saying it is a good idea to leave your kids in the car (I don’t think it is), but I also realized how quick I was to make a judgement about the person who did it.

I don’t know their story, their situation. Rather than be judgmental I need to be more grace-filled, more compassionate.

We’ve all seen people make choices that are bad in public. But the reality is, we’ve all made bad choices. Whether these choices are fueled by circumstances or just plain and simple that guy’s a jerk we’ll never know.

But what I do know is that gone are the days that I think I’m somehow I’m a better parent than the person who did it. Because I’m not.

I’m learning a lot during this deployment….

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

My grandmother died.

She is the last grandparent on either side and my children’s last great grandparent. She lived a long life and was loved by many.

My grandma is your typical grandma. I’ve always joked with my cousins that from the moment I remember her she’s looked like a grandma. In fact she hasn’t changed a whole lot in 40 years.

She wore grandma sweaters and grandma pants and white tennis shoes, except the one time my aunt bought her jeans.

She loved every phone call, card, and visit. She sent letters to her kids, grandkids, great grandkids, extended family, neighbors, and friends. She didn’t have a lot of money, but she would always pick out the perfect card or sticker to put in the card for the kids.

For my girls the cards would always have cute kitty cats or horses and a flower sticker. They loved getting cards from her even though they could never read her handwriting.

Since I was little every single time I talked to her in person, on the phone, or got a card from her she told me the very same story.

One day she was in her house and got a phone call from my parents. They told her they were on their way to pick me up from the children’s home. She was officially a grandmother! She was so excited that she knocked the phone and the phone stand over. (Remember phone stands?)

When she picked the phone back up she was talking into the wrong end and couldn’t hear anything. But she was so excited she didn’t know that she was talking into the wrong end of the phone.

I’ve heard that story more times than I can remember. She loved telling it. It never got old to her, not once.

photo credit: Hoptocopter

If you took her out to lunch (even McDonalds) she would rave about the food. I remember my dad took her for seafood once and she had clam chowder. She talked about that clam chowder forever!

The news about my grandma comes at the end of a very long week. Yesterday I felt like I couldn’t take one more thing and then came one more thing.

Then I got this email from my dad …

An answer to prayer from a gracious God. . .

Some times when we ask God for special things we think only to selfishly ease our own burden or pain of maybe the struggle of a loved one.  And yet, God is not obligated to grant our request because John 16:33 says in world you will have trouble. Tribulation and trials are a part of life and they build character and perseverance.  We are partakers of His suffering so in a strange way we identify with Him in His suffering and death on the cross.  Many suffer much through life and also suffer through the process of death.

Nonetheless, we continued to pray for God to be gracious to our dear Grandma Stell in her final years on this earth. We wanted God (the author and sustainer of life) to spare her from a painful protracted end that would overshadow her always joyful and thankful spirit.

Today, God granted that request.   All the questions and concerns for her future have now been put to rest.  No more will we ponder what her future might hold –  transfer to a nursing home, loss of mobility, loss of mental capacity and memory, confusion and illusions, pain and morphine, running out of money, hospice care or seeing someone else living in 301 S. Dickson Street, the home that Joe built for her.

Yes the questions have all been answered.  God graciously took her during the night while she sat in her favorite chair in the new home which she loved, keenly aware that she was loved by many, especially her children.

Not a Bible scholar or theologian, just a simple women with a simple faith and yet genuine in every respect.  What a grand and glorious homecoming this must be for her.  John 14 talks about a room in a mansion that God has prepared for us.  I know she has said her house at 301 Dickson St. is the only house she would ever want, but do you think she might be changing her mind about now?

Thank you Lord for granting our request and making her journey home easy.

 

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

Christmas cards. I love getting them. Even the annoying ones where the people list off all their awesome accomplishments for the year and gloss over the bad stuff.

I usually send Christmas cards (photos), but I haven’t for the past two years. Last year we had just moved into our house and I couldn’t find our silverware, let alone a family photo. And this year… well, you know.

The problem is that because we’ve moved and I haven’t sent cards we aren’t getting very many cards this year.

I never really realized how much I like getting cards until they stopped coming. (By the way- this isn’t a post to guilt all of you who know me to send me a card, seriously)

Then it got me thinking about how there are probably people like me who like getting cards, but now aren’t getting one from me.

If you are a Christmas card sender- it isn’t too late to send them out. Who cares if they arrive after Christmas? There are probably lots of people who would love to see a picture of your family, an update, or even just a simple Merry Christmas.

In other news we are out of tape to wrap gifts. My kids have started using packing tape to wrap presents because we have plenty of that….

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

It’s funny how the people who can bring you the most joy, can also bring you the most frustration.

My thirteen year old lost my camera (camera, lenses, the whole backpack) and this cutie trashed my bathroom better than Justin Bieber in a third world country.

It’s hard to walk into the bathroom at midnight and realize you have at least a half hour of cleaning to do before you can even brush your teeth.

It’s hard to buy a Christmas gift for the kid that just lost $2,000 worth of photo equipment.

These things aren’t hard because of deployment, but they seem harder to swallow these days.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

Always winter but never Christmas. I finally “got” that quote from Narnia today.

That’s how it feels around here. Sure there’s a tree, lights, and presents, but it something’s just not right. We started decorating a few weeks ago, but after opening a box or two everyone just gave up.

These is so much good, but right now it feels like we are drowning in winter.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.