Support our Troops

While there are benefits to serving in the US Armed Forces, many of our troops put their lives on the line every day. Soldiers, Sailers, Airmen, Marines, and are serving all over the world, away from loved ones and the comforts of home. They give up many of their freedoms in ensure our freedom.


Not everyone is able to serve in our Armed Forces, but everyone can serve our Armed Forces.

  • Participate in the Holiday Mail for Heroes. (This looks like a great project for schools, scouts or other clubs)
  • Place a yellow ribbons on your car or tie a yellow ribbon around a tree in your front yard.
  • Invite a Single Service Member over to your house for dinner. People are usually pretty good about doing this around the holidays, but they would enjoy a home cooked meal any time of the year.
  • If you know someone who is deployed send them a letter, or a care package. Make sure you check with someone who knows them well to see what they really need.
  • Tell them that you appreciate their service to our country. You might be surprised how little they hear this.
  • If you own or manage a store, give a military discount. Even 10% is appreciated.
  • For families whose loved one is deployed… invite them for dinner, or bring them a meal.
  • Offer to babysit….military families often spend months apart. Mom and Dad would love to have some time alone together.
  • Call…. check up on the families whose loved one is deployed. A lot of times they would love someone to talk to. Don’t think it is a bad time… if it is they just won’t answer the phone.
  • Be a friend… military life can be hard on everyone. There are frequent moves, separations, and other trials. Friends can make all the difference to a military family.
  • Attend a troop homecoming
  • Offer to babysit for the spouse who is on the homefront during the deployment, they could use some quiet moments to themselves.
  • Help the family out by offering to run an errand; return library books, videos, run to the post office, pick up milk, especially if you’re already going there.
  • Pray- for the troops that are abroad, the ones here at home, and the families that support them.

Veteran’s Day Freebies

McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurants

Veterans will be able to choose a complimentary lunch or dinner entrée on November 8, 2009. Some of the mouth-watering selections include Cashew-Crusted Tilapia, Grilled Atlantic Salmon, Seafood Fettuccini Alfredo and Cedar-Planked Salmon. Click here for participating locations.

Outback Steakhouse (Yum!)

Wednesday, November 11th, Outback will give veterans a free Bloomin’ Onion and a beverage of their choice, non-alcoholic or one draft Anheuser-Busch beer.

Golden Corral

Golden Corral’s 9th annual Military Appreciation Monday dinner will be held on Monday, November 16, 2009, from 5 to 9 pm in all Golden Corral restaurants nationwide.

Krispy Kreme

Krispy Kreme is giving veterans a free donut of their choice on Veteran’s Day.

Pizzeria Uno

Uno’s is giving veteran’s a free entree or individual pizza on November 11th.

Home Depot

10% Military Discount- SAVE Up to $200 in store on single-receipt purchases November 5 -November 11, 2009.

U.S. National Parks

National Park Service has announced that they will once again waive all entry fees to every national park, forest and monument across the U.S., giving travelers the opportunity to experience hundreds of amazing places for free.

Making it in the Military ~ Military Pay

Making it in the Military ~ Military Pay at The Happy Housewife

2010 Military pay charts have been released! Service members will receive a 3.4% pay raise in 2010.

While basic pay is taxable, most allowances are not taxable. To find out your tax advantage view the Regular Military Compensation Calculator .

The most junior military members earn around $17,000 a year in basic pay, while the most senior officer makes over $220,000. How is that for incentive to stay for the long haul? Military pay is much more complex than basic pay. There are a host of special pays and allowances paid to service members as well. Listed below are the basics of military pay and allowances.

2010 Enlisted Pay

2010 Officer Pay

Basic Pay: Your military salary. Based on rank and time in service. You can find a 2009 pay chart here.

Basic Allowance for Substance: Money paid to the service member for food. Enlisted members receive$323.87 and Officers receive $223.04 per month.

Basic Allowance for Housing: Money paid to the service member for housing. This pay is based on zip code, rank, and dependents. Contrary to popular belief military members are not paid more if they have more children. There are only two categories for BAH, with dependents or without dependents. the 2010 BAH rates will be released in December. You can a view the current BAH rates here.

Cost of Living Allowance (COLA): COLA is a cash allowance intended to compensate for high cost of living areas. COLA is not assigned to areas where the cost of living is less than of meets the average of that in the United Sates. A service member must be permanently assigned to the area to receive COLA. Based on rank, time in service and number of dependents. Click to view Stateside COLA and Overseas COLA rates.

Clothing Allowance: Officers receive this allowance once, Enlisted members receive the initial allowance, plus an allowance each year. You can find rates here.

There are numerous of other special pays available for service members. To view a comprehensive listing of special pays click here.

Members serving in a combat zone do not pay taxes on their basic pay. I found this interesting article regarding how to make the most of your combat-pay exclusion. You can read a summary of your combat zone benefits here.

It is important check your LES (Leave and Earning Statement) each month to ensure you are receiving the correct pay. The military does make mistakes.  You can log on to My Pay, to view a current LES.

Your Military Benefits: The Commissary and Exchange

Your Military Benefits: The Commissary and Exchange at The Happy Housewife

One of the biggest benefits to military families is the privilege of shopping at the Commissary and Exchange.

The commissary is a military grocery store. It looks just like a normal grocery store, and sells similar items, the difference is only active duty, retirees, reservists and their dependents may shop there. It is my opinion that the commissary is cheaper on the majority of items. This does not mean that you will not do better with triple coupon, catalinas, or ECB’s, but you cannot buy all your groceries that way. I believe that military families should scan circulars for loss leaders at the local stores. But over the past several years, using the commissary has kept my family of nine’s grocery bill at around $600 a month, and we eat well.

Commissary Facts and Tips

The Dreaded Surcharge: The commissary adds a 5% surcharge to your total bill.  Depending on where you live, this may cut into your savings. Certain states charge a sales tax on their food, so if you live in one of those states the surcharge probably doesn’t make a difference. I live in Maryland, which does not charge sales tax on food. The 5% charge may make a difference for someone who is driving an hour each way to the commissary and has to factor in the cost of fuel.

Tipping: I know there are many people who do not like having to tip the baggers, but don’t take it out on them, they are just doing their job. I always tip the baggers, but I do think it is hard to determine a fair amount. There are several factors to consider; weather, number of bags, distance to the vehicle. The more bags I have the higher the tip, but I have never tipped more than $5.

Is the commissary really cheaper: I would have to say yes, item for item, pound for pound the commissary is cheaper. I only shop at other grocery stores when I am getting things for free, or close to free. There will be times when using double coupons and bogos, you will be able to beat the commissary’s price, but unless all your shopping, including meat and produce, is done that way you will save money overall at the commissary.

Getting the best deals at the commissary

Do not shop on a payday weekend. These are the busiest shopping days at the commissary. It is almost impossible to walk down the aisles, not to mention figure out coupons if you shop during this time.

Take advantage of the tear off coupons. These are the coupons that are attached to the shelves. Many times these coupons match up with items that are already on sale. Combining sales and coupons this way can almost get you items for free. For example, last month there were many rip off coupons in the taco aisle, and all the Old El Paso items were on sale. I bought 3 jars of salsa, 4 boxes of shells, 4 cans of refried beans and 2 seasoning canisters for $6.

Plan your menus around commissary sales. The commissary rotates its sale items every two weeks, starting on Thursdays. This means the price of almost everything in the commissary changes every two weeks. If you see something on sale, stock up! It might be twice as much the next time you go to the store. I post the commissary sales every two weeks with coupon match-ups. Each store does run manager’s specials that vary from store to store. You can look up your individual commissary here.

If you live far from a commissary, try making one bulk trip every 4 to 6 weeks. At one point we lived about an hour a way from the Commissary. I went every 4 weeks to purchase in bulk; milk, yogurt, formula, diapers, bread, cereal and meat. I would also pick up the groceries I needed for the week. As far as I know, stateside commissaries do not ration items so you can really stock up on things that are a great price.

The commissary will save you more money if you live in a high cost of living area. I live in the D.C. metro area. There is no other store that can compete with the commissary’s prices. I also found this to be the case when I lived in the Virginia Beach area. If you aren’t sure about your commissary savings try making a price book. This will help you to determine whether or not making an hour or so drive to the commissary is worth your time and money.

The Exchange (PX/ NEX)

The Exchange is a department store. They sell everything from clothes to toys to jewelry and make-up. The big benefit of the Exchange is that all your purchases are tax free. This can be a huge savings on big ticket items. Their prices are competitive, but you I recommend shopping around before purchasing larger items. The Exchange does price match, and you can find their policy here.

Using your Commissary and Exchange benefits can help stretch your family’s budget. What is your best commissary or exchange shopping tip?

On Base Housing ~ The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

On Base Housing ~ The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Base housing, you either love it or hate it. When orders arrive one of the first things we do as military spouses is check out the housing website. Is it new, old, on base, off base, what is the BAH, and will they let me bring my doberman? Housing all over the United States is being privatized and remodeled at a furious pace. On some bases the quality of military housing far exceeds the housing available in the local economy, while other housing should be bulldozed.

The Good

Priced at your BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing). When you sign a lease to move into a military home you agree to pay your entire housing allowance to the housing office. This price pays your rent, utilities, and in some cases your yard maintenance. There are very few financial surprises when you live on base.

Safety of living on base. Many housing areas are located on the military installation, which means you have 24/7 security.

Amenities. Many of the bases have pools, playgrounds, and gyms that are available for you to use for free as a perk for living on base.

Larger Housing. Some of the new housing is quite large and many junior enlisted families are getting much more out of their BAH than they would if they lived off base.

Pets Allowed. Most bases allow pets in housing without a pet deposit. Certain breeds of dogs are forbidden on many bases.

Community Feel. When you live on base you are surrounded by people who are in the your exact same situation. Many families are dealing with deployments, shift work, and watches. I have found that people are quick to befriend their neighbors because everyone has moved many times before.

Close proximity to work. If you are living on base, chances are pretty good you are living close to work as well. This could eliminate the need for a second car if the active duty member is able to bike or walk to work.

Close proximity to Commissary. Many times the commissary will be within walking distance from housing. With the cost of gas fluctuating it is nice to be within a mile of two of a inexpensive grocery store.

Housing is based on rank and number of children. If you are a lower rank but you have a lot of kids, you will get a larger home, regardless of your BAH. This means an E-3 with 4 kids will be living in a 4 or 5 bedroom home, even though they could probably only afford a 2 bedroom apartment on the economy.

The Bad

Utility Billing in some areas. Many bases that have been privatized are now monitoring and charging for utilities if you exceed the average use of like homes. So, if you are a utility hog you will be paying out of pocket for your utilities. But if you conserve, you will be refunded the difference each month.

False Sense of Security. Yes, the fact that you are living within the confines of the gate does keep certain people off base. But, there are many creeps and thieves that live in your neighborhoods. There is crime on military bases and people should use the same caution they would use out in town.

Small/ Old Outdated Housing. Even though many bases have privatized their housing, there are still many bases with substandard units. It takes time to remodel houses, so it is possible you could get stuck in a small, old house.

Housing Office. Usually there is only one housing office, so if you are having trouble, you don’t have many other options.

Same old, same old. Base housing usually isn’t very pretty. The materials used are usually cheaper and everyone’s house looks exactly the same, at least on the outside.

Lack of storage. This is hit or miss, I have lived in houses with a tremendous amount of storage and others were we were getting rid of things left and right in order to fit into the house. Many older homes do not have basements, attics, or garages.

Difficult for nonmilitary friends to visit. I always felt bad that our friends had to get out of their vehicles and were subjected to searches, in order to visit us. It made our house a less than ideal place for events and parties.

The Ugly

Sometimes base housing is ugly, really ugly.

In the end living on base is a personal decision that depends heavily on your personal circumstances. With the recent down turn in the economy it is sometimes a better deal to live off base. We were able to find a house significantly bigger than our base house for less than our BAH. In other places, the cost of living is extremely high and living on base allows people to stay within their budget.

I do recommend that junior enlisted families live on base if  the housing is adequate. Income is limited and living on base helps control fluctuating expenses such as utilities, that can bust a budget in a colder than normal winter.

What has been your base housing experience, good, bad or just plain ugly?

Knott’s Berry Farm Free for Veteran’s in November 2009

From now until Thanksgiving, Knott’s Berry Farm salutes our Veterans! Hope my California readers can take advantage of this deal!

Knott’s Berry Farm pays tribute to past and present U.S. armed forces personnel during Veteran’s Month with free park admission for them and a guest November 1-26 only.  Up to six additional tickets can be purchased for only $15 each.  Military ID or DD214 required for discount.  Not valid for our evening event – Halloween Haunt.

Making it in the Military ~ Surviving Deployment

Making it in the Military ~ Surviving Deployment at The Happy Housewife

The following is a guest post from my friend Monica. You must visit her site, she has great content, but she also has the most fabulous hair of anyone I have ever seen!

Monica is the mom of three precious preschoolers who keep her on toes at all times. She has been married to her husband, Keith, for eight years. Keith is a Chaplain in the Army and they are currently assigned to an overseas post in Germany. You can find her writing about family, faith, and the military on her blog Daily Dwelling.

Deployments and separations have become a way of life for military families. They are hard….very hard, but they are also survivable.

Our family has been through two deployments. They have been very different from one another. During my husband’s first deployment of twelve months, my twins were babies and we lived close to family, but away from the Army post that he was stationed out of. During his second deployment of fourteen months, I had three small ones to take care of and we were living in Germany, away from the support of civilian friends and family.

Each situation had its ups and downs, its pros and cons, but we made it through them both.

Surviving and Thriving in a Deployment

Plan

Before the deployment begins, accept it and begin planning. Plan for how you will communicate with your loved one and how your family will function during this time of separation. Plan for emergencies. Plan for the worse case scenarios. No, some of these are not things that we want to think about, but if we don’t they will catch us completely off guard. Having a plan in place is often more than half the battle.

Communicate

Just because your spouse is serving the country away from you doesn’t mean that they have to be cut out of your life. There are so many ways, especially because of technology, to keep communication open. Before the deployment takes place, sit down and talk about your expectations for communication. Things may change once they are downrange, but again, having a plan and being honest about your needs and/or expectations can prevent a lot of hurt feelings.

During my husband’s first deployment, he wrote a letter every single day. Yes, I have all of them saved. We also talked on the phone almost daily, but we used e-mail very sparingly and did not talk via web cam at all. During his second deployment, we e-mailed and talked on the phone on a daily basis. We also used skype to talk over web cam a lot during the latter part of his deployment. This gave the children a very tangible way to stay in touch with their Daddy.

Find a support system

You will have days that you struggle. You or your kids may get sick. You may just need a break at some point. This will all come through your support system. You may create your own support through friends from church, family members, friends within the military community, online communities, the Family Readiness Group, or any combination of those, but you will need to have one. The deployment will be so much harder than it has to be if you try to do it all on your own.

Become involved

Whether it be in your community, church, your kids’ school, a spouse’s club, or a playgroup, get involved in something! There can be a temptation to isolate yourself and not get out and enjoy life, but life has to go on and getting involved in something can help you to overcome that temptation.

Take advantage of resources

The Army, and I’m sure the other branches of the military as well, have many programs in place to help relieve the burden that is caused by deployments. Check into them and take advantage as much as you can. The Family Readiness Group is your resource to find out what is going on in your spouse’s unit and can be a great outlet for finding information about the resources that are available. The Army Family Covenant provided extra respite hours of childcare, a reduced hourly childcare rate, free programs for children and youth to participate in, and child care for FRG meetings. I was able to take advantage of all of these and they really helped to relieve some of the stress of the deployment. Yes, they all involve childcare, but that is a huge issue for families!

Accept help

There are many people out there that want to support the military and military families. They are more than willing to help in any way that they can. Army spouses can be a proud bunch that prides themselves on being independent and self-sufficient (I am and I do!). It can be a humbling experience to accept offers of help, but I have found many times that it often does more for the person that is doing the helping than the person being helped. When you refuse help, you are refusing someone the privilege of being a blessing to you! So, swallow your pride and accept those genuine offers of help!

Set goals

Before, during and even as you near the end of the deployment, sit down and write out goals for yourself and your family during this time. I had many goals. Some I achieved, some I didn’t, but having a goal gave me something to work towards during the hard times.

Be realistic

Don’t expect too much of yourself. You probably won’t achieve all of those goals that you set and you will have bad days. Don’t expect that you won’t. Be realistic with yourself and with this time in your life. At the end of the deployment, be ready to celebrate just for making it through, because that in itself is a huge accomplishment!

Making it in the Military – Emergency Readiness

Making_It_in_the_Military
The following is a guest post from Nancy Parode of About.com. She is a military wife, and a great friend in real life. She is covering a topic near and dear to her heart and one that can be applied to any family, not just those in the military

Skills You Don’t Know You Need to Know

When I was a teenager and learning to drive, way back when in sunny southern California, my father insisted on teaching me to drive in snow during a family ski trip. I protested mightily. After all, I lived in L.A. Driving in snow and ice was a skill I would never need.

Right.

Fast forward a bunch of years, to a duty station in the mountains of West Virginia. From the moment I arrived there, other military spouses asked me whether I was worried about driving in the mountains. Uh, no, I thought – Dad taught me to drive on roads like these long ago. When winter arrived, I was ready. I memorized the shady spots on the road after my first few trips up the slush-covered mountain road, because I noticed they did not thaw out.

My husband bought snow tires for my van and helped me put together a survival kit. On super-icy days, we all stayed home. Better to be stuck indoors, we reasoned, than to risk our safety in a bad storm.

Advance Planning

I’ve always planned for natural disasters; it comes from growing up in earthquake country. I even took a class on earthquakes at UCLA (great information but too much physics). My parents taught my brother and me to develop an emergency plan, create a food pantry and carry supplies in our cars. Because you can’t predict an earthquake, the only thing you really can do is prepare. Stash some food, water and medical supplies, set up an emergency contact plan, decide what you’ll do if you get stranded and – well, that’s the best you can do.

When I married the Navy, I quickly discovered that there were other types of emergencies. First on the list was emergency evacuation of family members. At our first duty station, I attended mandatory NEO training and learned how to pack an emergency kit, plan for a nuclear attack and prepare for several days on an Italian beach, waiting for rescue. It was completely frightening, but I went home and put all of our important documents into a tote bag, discussed evacuation plans with my husband and got on with life. At every duty station since, I’ve kept our important papers in an easily-accessed box.

We Navy spouses learn fairly quickly that we need to be ready to handle natural disasters by ourselves. Why? Well, ships are very expensive to build, and the Navy prefers to keep those assets safe. Whenever a big storm threatens a Navy base, the ships put out to sea – fully manned. That’s how I lived through two hurricanes on my own. Fortunately, I had discussed all of the hurricane-related issues with my husband months before he put out to sea. Having a plan literally saved my sanity, even though it didn’t save my second-floor ceiling.

Over the last 20-plus years, I’ve lived in a brush fire area (southern California) earthquake territory (Italy), hurricane zones (Virginia), tornado country (wherever you have hurricanes, you can have tornadoes) and even a deer-infested winter wonderland (West Virginia). In each place, I’ve worked with my husband and children to create an emergency plan. My husband and son, both Boy Scouts, and my Girl Scout daughter completely understand my need to prepare. Once we have a plan and supplies, I tell them, we can sleep easily – we’ve done everything we can.

Think, Learn, Practice, Prepare

Think outside the box

My parents decided to purchase a generator, install child locks on cabinets and tether heavy items to their walls after a strong earthquake flung dishes, nail polish, paint and medications out of cupboards and drawers onto their floors. After they cleaned up the huge mess, they decided they never wanted to deal with it again.

If you’re moving into hurricane territory, walk around your property. Think about which areas might flood (basements?) and decide how you’ll secure your large windows (plywood? tape?). If your new duty station is located in Tornado Alley, decide where you’ll shelter in your home, office and out in town if a tornado forms.

Living in the mountains? Decide which roads are safest during snowstorms and make sure you have an emergency kit in each car you drive. Don’t wait until disaster strikes to think about these key survival issues; that is way, way too late.

Educate yourself

When you move to a new duty station, ask about natural disasters and other local issues. You can’t prepare if you don’t know what to expect. This is particularly important if you’re stationed overseas; you’ll need to figure out how the local emergency response system works, which words to use and how to call for help if you need it.

Consider the bad guys

You know, those terrorist people. Yes, I have a plan for a dirty bomb attack. I know how much time I will probably have to evacuate, and I know enough about wind patterns to decide on the best route at the last minute. My document box is ready; I am pretty sure I could get kids, pets and documents out the door in less than half an hour. Obviously, this won’t help if a bomb explodes down the block, but I think I’m as prepared as I can be.

Acquire essential skills

If I were in charge of the world, everyone would learn how to drive a car with a manual transmission, build a fire, practice basic first aid, cook outdoors, correctly store food and water, read a map (not a GPS unit) and drive in snow. Why? Because so many things go wrong when people try to do these things in emergency situations.

Every year people die because they try to bring their charcoal barbecues indoors during snowstorms; they don’t know that the fumes can kill them. Every time we have an ice storm where I live, horrific accidents happen because drivers don’t know how to deal with zero traction on the road and don’t have the sense to stay home. Even worse, many military folks I know find themselves stranded while on temporary or PCS orders because the only rental cars available have manual transmissions.

If you can’t drive a stick shift car, get someone to teach you. Wouldn’t you hate to be unable to reach a hospital because you couldn’t drive the only available car?

Assemble important documents

This makes more sense for military folks than for anyone else. You move every two or three years – do you know where your insurance policies are? Do you know what they cover? Where are your shot cards and medical records? What about rabies certificates for your pets? If you put all these essential items together in one place, you can lay hands on them quickly if disaster strikes.

Organize your emergency pantry

You should, at minimum, have three days’ food and water (two gallons per person per day) stashed away. You should also set aside medicines, pet food, diapers and other essential supplies. Your can opener and radio should be hand-cranked in case the power goes out for several days. The FEMA website has many excellent suggestions for anyone wanting to set up an emergency pantry. Remember to include cooking pots, utensils and fuel (charcoal, wood, etc.).

Your emergency pantry should also include cash – cash you have on hand right now. If a storm or earthquake strikes, your local ATM won’t work. How will you pay for an out-of-town hotel room or gasoline for your car without your stash of cash?

Learn to survive outdoors

That emergency pantry won’t help you if you can’t use it. Practice cooking outside – make it a family picnic – and think about how you’ll use your food and water if you’re stranded at home with no utilities for several days.

Practice

Remember grade school fire drills? You should be holding similar drills at home, preferably every month while your children are young. If an emergency arises, your training will kick in and everyone will know exactly what to do. Every time you move, make a new escape plan for your home and practice, practice, practice. This goes double for anyone stationed in tornado territory.

Making emergency responses automatic is essential if a tornado is bearing down on your home or car. You won’t have time to think about what to do. Practicing beforehand will allow your self-preservation instincts to kick in when you need them most.

Insure against disaster

If you own a home, your fire policy will protect you against most – but not all – disasters. Floods and earthquakes are special cases and you will probably need to take out special policies to insure yourself against their effects. If you live on base or rent, get a renter’s insurance policy to protect your possessions. Renter’s insurance is inexpensive compared to the cost of replacing everything you own. Be sure to ask about getting a special policy, called a “rider,” for computers, jewelry and other high-value items.

Extend your plan

Contact far-away family members and set up an emergency communications plan. Decide who will accept all the “I’m okay” calls and make sure everyone has that person’s telephone numbers. In case of a real emergency, text messaging is the best way to contact family; text messages don’t tie up the cell phone system the way voice calls do. Make sure older family members can read and send text messages; this is not an intuitive skill for many cell phone users.

In my family, everyone knows to call me if an earthquake hits; I live in a different state, one without earthquake risks, and will be able to follow up on missing family members long after their local phone service goes down. (Guess how we know? We’ve had to do this once already.)

Don’t panic (and never travel without your towel)

Douglas Adams fans will recognize this slogan, which actually offers excellent advice. If you’re prepared, know where you’ll go if you need to evacuate and have a plan for those almost-unplannable moments, you will be calm when disaster strikes. You won’t dither or worry; instead, you will switch to disaster mode and execute your plan. The towel? Very handy. Besides functioning in the obvious way, your towel can be a blanket, rain shield, sunshade, emergency beacon, pet bed, baby changing pad, pillow…let your imagination run wild.

The Bottom Line

As a military family member, you face more disaster preparedness challenges than most people ever think about. Every duty station comes with a new list of potential problems, and it’s up to you to learn about them. In the end, the difference between disaster and survival stares you in the face each morning during tooth-brushing time – and it’s you.

You can educate yourself, acquire skills, accumulate supplies and practice with your family. Even if no one else in your family wants to think about this stuff, you can help everyone prepare. And if you prepare, you will survive.

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

The following a guest post from my friend Kelly, who I was fortunate to meet in real life at BlogHer 09.

Kelly is a wife and mother of four young children.  Residing in Texas, she and her family enjoy playing together, family movie nights, and friendly theological debate.  While mostly kept busy homeschooling, baking, cooking, cleaning, or sewing, she does take time to blog at Wisdom Begun.  One day she and her husband hope to own a family farm where they will attempt to turn back a hundred years.

Growing Up Brat

My father and mother married a year after high school. During that time my father enlisted in the military.  When I was still very young he went through Warrant Officer training and became a helicopter instructor pilot.  I have many photos of me as a young child wearing my orange “I love a WOC” t-shirt.  Eventually he would retire after 20 years of faithful service as a Chief Warrant Officer 4.

Baby Kelly - Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

We did not live on or near base for some of our military years.  My father was last “stationed” at a small National Guard Unit in Florida.  We were church members, but as there were no other military families in that congregation for quite a while, no one could quite comprehend what our lives were like.  Very few families could identify with such a demanding job. Yet there were many blessings to growing up in the military.  I saw a different side to life.

I had never known a civilian life.  I only knew a life in which dad was gone a lot but we always felt his love.  A life in which it was normal to hear a helicopter flying over our house continuously at 11 o’clock at night and realize hey! that’s my dad.  Of course being overwhelmed by the spotlights he shown on us as we stood out on the driveway might not be par for the course.  But still, that was life.  Our life consisted of shopping at the commissary and getting 20 something boxes of cereal for less than cost.  Or running around the PX at nine years old, searching for my father to tell him that mom was in labor and on her way to the hospital.  Or, missing your dad for 4 weeks because he is down in Miami rescuing hurricane Andrew victims in his helicopter.

Kelly and Dad - Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

I look back now and question myself as to whether or not I would have it any other way.  I would not.  You remember all those little anecdotes I shared with you earlier?  Those gave me my view on life.  I know now that Dad worked so very hard in a job which many may not understand.  He worked whenever he was needed whether that be in the middle of the night or during the day or for weeks on end with no break.  He is a very disciplined and orderly person.  The Army taught him that.  My mother tirelessly raised a houseful – and by houseful I mean 9 children – and homeschooled us as well.  She held down the fort as Dad went on various missions and trainings that left him necessarily absent.  I have seen very few women who are as strong mentally as she is.  She never ever complained to anyone about having to parent by herself and rarely asked for outside help. I always hope to emulate her ability to get done what has to get done.

As for me, I learned that no family is the same and that is okay.  I learned teamwork.  I learned respect for what was needed to protect our country, often at the cost of spending more time with one’s family.  Growing up without my dad around all of the time was hard at times but I knew why it was necessary.  I learned respect for our country and our flag that is sadly going away.

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

In reality growing up in the military really isn’t all that different.  I was still a little girl who loved to play dolls and ride my bike outside.  Our family laughed and played together perhaps even more so than any other family.  Watching sports, eating out, visiting the zoo: we made time for that.  Other families may not have gotten up at 3am to view the Hale Bop comet through night vision goggles, but we still enjoyed our time together.

That’s just how life was.

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife