In my last post I discussed the importance of training your children, not only to be obedient, but to work. Having children that are willing to be part of our family team is one way I am able to accomplish many of the things I do each day. I realize it takes more time and effort on your part to train your children, but consider it an investment in everyone’s future.
One of the first verses our children learn is Philippians 2:14 “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Not only is it important that your children obey, it is important that they do it cheerfully. In our house complaining about doing a job is the same as not doing it at all. We believe the bible teaches us to do all things joyfully, not grudgingly or with resentment. While I realize this is an impossible goal, it is something we work towards every day.
The funny thing about doing things joyfully is that it starts with us as moms. If we constantly complain about housework, chores, dirty diapers, or poor behavior we cannot possible expect our children to operate with a cheerful and joyful attitude when they are confronted with situations they are unhappy about.
When my children are dealing with bad attitudes I remind them of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 which says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” We discuss the fact that the bible does not tell us to be joyful only when we are getting our own way, but rather to be joyful always, regardless of our circumstances. Not only is this a great verse for kids, it works for moms as well.
So, be a joyful mom, even when things stink… and I know they stink a lot.
Next, work with your kids. I don’t train my kids so that I can lay on the couch all day and read magazines while they keep my house squeaky clean. I work with them because I want them to value work, and value serving others. By picking up the downstairs before dad comes home we are serving their father. By keeping the stairs free of toys, we are serving everyone who walks up and down the stairs. By learning how to follow a recipe they are serving our family and others by having the ability to take a plate of cookies to a new neighbor or sick friend. By learning how to obey they are serving the rest of the family by minimizing interruptions due to discipline issues.
Lead your children by example and don’t expect from them things you don’t exemplify yourself. Don’t expect your four year old to have the same skills you do. Keep your expectations low, and your praises high. Let your children know how much you appreciate their hard work. Make work enjoyable by leading with a positive attitude.
Now on to the practical.
To keep cleaning fun (sort of) we have 5 minute pick ups throughout the day. With seven people at home all day our house gets messy really quick! After breakfast, before lunch, and before dinner I will set the timer for 5 minutes. Everybody works as hard and fast as they can to pick up the mess. I usually have a bigger kid work along side a younger one to help them put things away correctly. The kids, especially the boys, love the idea of “racing” through the house to get it clean.
Make it easy to clean up. I love systems, charts, labels, and everything Type A like that…. but if my systems are too elaborate my little kids cannot be involved. Unloading the dishwasher is easy for my little kids because many of our dishes are kept where they can reach them. Picking up is easy because toys are stored in baskets and bins. I have kid friendly cleaning tools to enable even the toddlers to work with us. A little child might not be able to sweep, but they can use the dust pan. Find ways to involve your children at the earliest age.
Silly is okay. When my older two were little they would sing the Barney “Clean-up” song when they had to pick up their toys. It drove me nuts! But I realized that as long as they were singing they would clean…. so I endured the pain. Now my little kids like pretend to be Wonder Pets while they clean. They have only seen the show a few times, but the song stuck. My children, the Wonder Pets, save the day by cleaning and picking up their toys, all the while singing the theme song. Annoying yes, but it works.
Accept the fact that your home is not going to look like a Better Homes and Garden’s cover. If your kids are home with you all day, or you have lots of little kids your house is going to get messy. I want my children to behave and take care of our things, but I also want them to be able to play. It is their house too. I don’t like for them to go from room to room making and leaving messes (we are still working on this one), but they are allowed to get out and play with their toys. Perhaps you can create a space for them to play during the day. We have a small area rug in our living room. While I am doing school with the older children at our dining room table the younger children are allowed to get out a bin of toys and play with them on the rug. If they tire of those toys, they need to put them back in the bin before a new bin comes out. This method has worked well for our family.
Clean up as you go. I do not like to walk out of a messy room, and I don’t like my children to either. I have found that tackling a job right away is almost always easier and quicker than putting it off until later. This is one area we are really working on in our house. For example, one of the kids sweeps the kitchen floor after lunch. If they forget, the crumbs from the kitchen are tracked through other parts of the house. When this happens not only do they have to sweep, they have to vacuum and their work has just doubled.
Today my five year old helped me put the inserts into the diapers.
While it took twice as long as doing it myself, I couldn’t help but think that in a few months she will be able to do this job on her own.
We had a great time talking about diapers and the new baby and I made sure she knew how much I appreciated her help.
Please know that I write these things as a reminder to myself. I am not always joyful, and I struggle with allowing my children to do things that I know I can do better and faster. My kids don’t always obey and they have been known to complain a time or two. We are a work in progress! It is my hope that these posts will help us all to grow as moms.
Coming up next… Our Schedule
