by admin -

Like Minded Friends

Connie is a Christian homeschooling mom of seven noisy kidlets, wife of one hunky golf pro, maker of aprons, teller of stories, wiper of noses. It’s a wonderful life! You can find her at her blog Smockity Frocks.

Several years ago, when we had moved for my husband’s new job and were expecting our fifth child, I found myself in a small town, away from friends and family.

We didn’t know anyone in town who homeshooled or had a large family. None of our new friends or acquaintances understood why we chose to live the way we did.

That’s about the time I discovered something called “blogs”. In a moment of loneliness, I had Googled “large family, homeschool” and stumbled upon Amy’s Humble Musings.

I was thrilled that I could read about the daily happenings of a lady who seemed just like me!

Christian? Check. Homeschooler? Check. Large family? Check. Republican? Check.

Soon, using the checklist I had formed, I found more “like minded” blogs and I felt like I had a little online community of friends who were just like me in every way.

What I didn’t realize, though, was my little community was making me a snob in my real life. Whenever I met someone new, I would go through the check list in my head, and they would undoubtedly fall short in one or more areas. I would mentally keep score and whine to my online community that “like minded friends” were SO hard to find.

This snobbery of mine was so insidious that I didn’t even realize it was happening. I just kept wondering why the internet was the only place I could find anyone to live up to my narrow standards.

It never crossed my mind that I was searching the entire world over and only coming up with a handful of people who could pass my checklist.

In the meantime, I kept holding real life friends at a distance. If they were Christians who had a large family, but didn’t homeschool, I didn’t think we had enough in common to really be this thing called “like minded” that I had elevated to a position of utmost importance.

If they were homeschooling Christians who only had two children, I would lament the fact that we were so… so… DIFFERENT.

Then, one day and a couple of children later, I started thinking about the fact that my grandmother only had three children. And she thinks homeschooling is, well, kinda kooky. And she is a DEMOCRAT!

And I still, like, LOVE HER a whole lot.

And she still loves me even though I’m kinda kooky and Republican.

That’s when I realized that I was missing out on a whole world of wonderful friendships because of my exclusive checklist.

I suddenly saw so many people around me who were different, but not really so different after all. Most moms I know want the best for their children. They may take a different approach than I do in the daily details, but we have the same desire.

Most people I know want the best for our country. Opinions vary, but mostly nobody wants us to destroy ourselves from within. Again, the same desire.

I found that I don’t have to agree with someone on every point to be a friend. I can celebrate our likenesses and let the rest go.

The world is a much friendlier place now that I use the internet, not as a way to exclude, but as a tool to gather information and communicate with others.

by admin -

Don’t Dwell on the Problem, Find a Solution

Today was a really, really bad day. The transmission needs to be replaced in one of our vehicles, and then this afternoon my 3 yo spilled a glass of water on my camera and laptop. The good news, my camera still works. The bad news, my laptop is fried.

When it happened I didn’t get too upset, I was probably in shock. As the day went on, I started thinking about all the things that were on my computer (which had not been backed up in forever) and started getting more and more upset. My computer is my brain… I do everything on my computer from shopping, to paying bills, to scheduling, to homeschooling, to editing my photos… My photos! The thought of losing my photos was too much and around dinner time I just wanted to go to bed.

I talked with one of my friends about the whole thing and she told me to focus on a solution and stop dwelling on the problem. She was right, although it took me a few hours to get out of my funk. Dh and I talked it over and figured out that a $50 USB docking station would allow me to transfer all my information off my hard drive and on to another computer in our house.

While I have lost the convenience of my laptop, I did not lose thousands of pictures, emails, files, and other information I had on my computer.

Lesson #1 learned ~ back up your  data on a separate hard drive frequently. We have a hard drive for this very purpose, but I got busy and didn’t take the time to back up my computer. If you do not have an portable external hard drive for your computer, buy one! I know I write about about saving money, but backing up all your data for under $100 is a wise investment. We were fortunate that my hard drive was not damaged and could recover the data.

Lesson #2 learned ~ When toddler spills a glass of water on the computer, immediately unplug the computer and, if it is a laptop, remove the battery. I hesitated removing the battery and had I been quicker I might have a working computer.

As for the car, there is no $50 fix. I am thankful we have our emergency fund to cover the cost of replacing the transmission.

So today was pretty crummy, but only when it comes to the material things. My kids had a great time playing with their friends, we had several of our friends drop in throughout the day, and everyone went to bed tired and happy. And that is what matters most…

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by admin -

How Safe is the Internet?

The other day I wrote a post about Mint.com, an online budget and financial planning site. Later, I received an email from my husband (yes we email each other, don’t laugh) that was titled “Just Say No to Mint!” He had serious concerns about giving our account info and passwords to an internet site. It seemed safe to me, but since he knows a lot more about internet security than I do, I have decided not to sign up.

This exchange with my husband got me thinking about internet security in general. I have a blog, and I occasionally write about and post pictures of my children. Longtime readers know my geographical location, and many people know my first name.

I have some friends who refuse to put any information about themselves on the internet, they don’t bank online, or even have a page on Facebook (gasp!). I have come to realize that many of my readers (almost half) do not have a blog of their own. I now wonder why I have so many readers who are nonbloggers, and if you are a nonblogger do you put other information about yourself on the internet in the form of online banking, bill pay, facebook, and other similar sites?

I know many readers are hesitant to sign up for free offers because they do not like to give out their name and email address.

Where do you stand? Do you feel the internet can be a safe place for your information? When you make an online transaction do you think your credit card number is protected? Have you ever been a victim of identity theft because of an internet transaction?

I would love to discuss this topic with you, because it is something I think about on a daily basis and wonder, how much is too much?

Feel free to leave a comment, but I have also opened up a discussion thread in my forum because I am able to follow and respond quicker in the forum.

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by admin -

BlogHer09 Recovery

I am working on a BlogHer09 recap post, my itch to pitch, and a menu plan today. I’ll try to get it up tonight!
Believe it or not, the internet stunk at the BlogHer09 convention, so I wasn’t able to do much on the computer this weekend!

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by admin -

Week of Repeats ~ Another Deployment Diary Entry

Thanks for hanging in there with my Week of Repeats, the packing is going well. I have two young ladies from church coming over tomorrow, so I should be able to get a lot accomplished with the extra hands! This post was originally published on my personal blog July 18, 2006. If I remember correctly we were about one month in to the deployment at that time and I had settled into my role as Mom to Conqueror.

Today was a wonderful peaceful morning and as I sat in my chair feeding the baby a wasp flew in. Okay… well the first half of that statement is a complete lie… but I would love to have a peaceful morning!

Actually, my neighbor woke me up to let me know that we didn’t have any water, then the kids woke up one by one, and begin the morning cereal ritual. Basically it involves me pouring immense amounts of Honey Nut Cheerios into bowls and then watching the starved children devour an entire box of cereal in one morning. I can’t wait until they are teens!

I then played patty cake with my two year old for about 15 minutes. That is about 7 minutes longer than anyone should have to repeat this rhyme. But she was happy.

Kids ran in and out the front door as I yelled to remind some of them that they didn’t have pants on and that they still needed to get dressed. Finally I settled into my chair to feed the baby. All was well.

Then began the -in and out of the back door- routine that occurs for most of the day. My almost 10 year forgot to shut the door and within a minute a huge wasp flew in.

Chaos begins…

I start screaming for a fly swatter. No one can find it. Cupboards are turned upside down in hopes of finding it. More running in and out, which provokes more yelling from me to shut the door, lest we allow the entire family of wasps in the living room.

Finally, my 12 year old daughter rolls up a magazine and starts hunting the wasp in the living room. My son and I are shouting directions at her. At this point I am in full combat mentality. I want that wasp dead. I am not going to allow it to terrorize my family, and heaven forbid come anywhere near the baby!

I finally trade baby for rolled up magazine. (of course the baby is completely asleep for all of this!). This wasp is tricky. It flies in my pottery (it knows I wouldn’t dare take a swat at that). It flies under a giant paper whale hung on our wall (another story…), it flies behind the computer, on the ceiling, finally it makes it’s fatal mistake and lands on the ground. I begin to beat this wasp with all my might. Kids are shouting and cheering. I signal for my son to get a paper towel so we can flush the remains. I have saved the day.

Mom 1    Wasp 0

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by admin -

Reality Check

I am not sure why I thought I could go on vacation, move, get ready for BlogHer, finish our school year, and take care of seven kids in a two week period. I am quickly realizing that I do not have time to get everything done. So, since I have to move, go to BlogHer, finish school, and take care of the kids this blog is the only thing I am able to cut back on.

But, I love you all! My time on vacation (and mostly off the computer) made me realize how much I enjoy interacting with my bloggy friends. So instead of leaving you for a week while I box up my life and move it across town I am going to have a Happy Housewife rerun week. But here is the deal, not only will I rerun a few Happy Housewife posts I am going to rerun posts from my personal blog I wrote a few years ago. Since most of you have never read my old blog, I thought it might be fun to get a little glimpse into my life a few years ago.

Below is a post I wrote almost 3 years ago. My husband was deployed and I was managing 6 small kids on the home front. I must have written this after a particularly trying day.

  • It is much easier to hire two babysitters and run errands with a close friend than to attempt it with 10 kids.
  • When you wake up at 6:45am to a fridge that has been without power all night, it is nice to have a neighbor who is awake to take and store your milk.
  • If you call and harass the military housing office enough times in a week, you finally get what you need on the first try.
  • If you accidently dry a crayola crayon in the dryer you will end up with the entire inside of your dryer the color of the crayon.
  • To remove melted crayon from the inside of a dryer turn the dryer on high and put in a damp towel. After about 15 minutes you will be able to wipe off most of the crayon from the inside of the dryer with the aformentioned towel.
  • To remove crayon from clothes apply Spray and Wash Dual Power to all crayon spots. Buy a new bottle of Spray and Wash, continue to apply to all spots. Soak in a mixure of oxy clean and detergent, wash, rinse, repeat. After about 5 times the crayon is gone.
  • Do not dry crayon free clothes in the dryer until you have removed all crayon from the dryer.
  • When your four year old looks down at the neighborhood park and starts screaming… “God is going to kill us all” just smile at your neighbors and quickly bring the child inside. It is not the time to discuss theology.
  • If you use all your canola oil to fry french fries earlier in the day you can use olive oil to make brownies. They just taste a bit different.
  • If you give 6 and 10 year old boys the job of washing your cabinets your floors will also end up washed.
  • If you try and get 6 kids packed up and ready to go to the neighborhood pool it will surely rain the minute you arrive.
  • No matter how bad the week gets I always get a fresh start on Sunday!

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by admin -

Our Story or HIStory

Happy has asked me to write about this part of our story. I’ll try to do my best to explain what happened when she asked me for a divorce and the aftermath of that phone call. If you are new to my site you might want to read the previous chapters in Our Story before reading on.

Happy let me know that we’d been living separate lives, more than the miles required. I hadn’t been writing her and although I was able to call pretty regularly we rarely discussed anything important. She lived her life in Florida with our daughter and I lived mine in Panama with work and whatever diversion I could muster. We had no basis to remain married and Happy made it clear that she wanted out.

I didn’t know then why I fought the divorce but there was no way I was going to let this marriage end. I  didn’t know Happy or my daughter but I was determined to give the marriage my all and fight for it until I knew I’d spent everything I had to save it. Looking back, it seems so illogical and without any hope. (Aside – Writing this part of our story is even now convicting me that my passion and dedication has waned over the years. What I felt then was extreme sadness and loss but that motivated me to action. I need to regain some of that drive and serve my wife and family with the same zeal I had when I thought all could be lost)

I got leave from my command and flew home the next day. I don’t remember the ride home with Happy but I’m sure it was either frosty or hot but surely not cordial. We continued to fight for the next several days about whether we would divorce, how we would go forward and whether there was a future at all for us.

Happy told you I was an atheist. After the constant fighting and occasional cursing session from me, Happy’s parents suggested we meet with a Christian counselor. I was at my wit’s end and agreed to give it a try. The concepts he suggested to me seemed a little odd but I accepted the books he gave me and read them. Two of the books I remember are: Larry Crabb’s Inside Out and Gary Smalley’s If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist.

Both books had a profound effect on me. Smalley’s book outlines how a Christian is to live for his wife. He covered servant leadership and referred me to scripture to support his claims. I recall reading Ephesians and  thinking how backwards the ideas seemed to me. I threw up my hands and decided to try some of the ideas out in our marriage – I mean nothing else seemed to be working.

Later I read Crabb’s book and leaned about the need for internal change rather than external coverings over the same  selfish heart. I knew I couldn’t be selfless on my own power so I realized I needed something, someone, greater than me to lead me to serve my nascent family. I discovered that I wasn’t the end all be all of an evolutionary process but a child of God who hadn’t been serving Him and couldn’t serve my wife and daughter without Him. I’d been nearly broken by my failed marriage but He gave me the lifeline I needed to be redeemed from within and then he showed me what I needed to to do to redeem my marriage. I became a Christian because those ideas that seemed so foreign to me worked. I tried to serve my wife in the ways the Bible teaches and began to see a change in my heart and hers. It was counter-intuitive, I worked to deny my selfish desires and to serve her and my daughter as much as I could. Something strange began to happen in me. The more I served them, the more I wanted to serve and the happier I became. I felt the flickerings of true love start in me. I have to be honest, I wanted to love Happy and be loved by her but until I met Jesus I didn’t know how. Don’t get me wrong, God showers His blessings on believers and non-believers as He sees fit. I’m not saying that non-Christians can’t love, I’m just saying that its a lot easier to love when you’ve met the source of all love.

Let me be clear, I’m not perfect and I’m not even close to be best husband and father in the world. I get angry and say stupid things all the time. I fall back into selfishness and don’t do near enough for my wife and kids. What Happy saw in me was and is not from me. It is only God’s work in me that she saw then and that I need to let shine forth for now and forever.

Thanks for letting me share a part of my side of our story.

Writer’s note: This is the story of how I became The Happy Housewife. I am writing as I have time and try to publish a new chapter every few weeks. This page will be updated when I write the next chapter. If you don’t want to miss the next installment you can subscribe to my blog.

by admin -

I’m Outta Here!

island

I’m leaving for vacation so if things are quiet around here, just think of how much fun I am having with my family!

Feel free to check out my new forum (and win a $25 gift card to Target) while I am gone. The Itch to Pitch will post on Monday, and I have some guest posts as well as a few in drafts so you’ll still be hearing from me, I just might not be able to respond. Now that I think about it, I am not so great about responding anyway…

Have a great 4th of July!

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by admin -

Money, Moving, and Musings…

For those you who are just checking in, I am moving. We are not transferring, just moving off base into a rental home. Now usually I counsel military families to take advantage of base housing, so why am I not taking my own advice? Here are the reasons (in order of importance) we decided to move off base.

1. We wanted to live closer to friends and church. Almost all of our friends live off base, about 30 minutes away. Many times we say no to activities because we don’t want to deal with the traffic or the drive. Moving to a different city will help us stay better connected to our church family.

2. We pay a whole lot of money, for not a whole lot of house. We currently live in a 5 bedroom townhome. Even though it is 5 bedrooms it is not a “big” house. I estimate it is between 1700-1800 square feet. We do not have a yard. There is almost no storage in this house. While it is possible to make it work in this house, if there is an alternative, why spend time and money constantly coming up with creative ideas so we can “fit” into our current house.

3. I am tired of dealing with the company that manages the housing on base. Over the past eighteen months we have dealt with a company that refused to let our family use the community pool (too many kids). Failed to provide written copies of many of its so called “policies.”  Failed to fix our appliances in a timely manner; oven broken for a month, fridge still making funny noises (going on two months), broken microwave for over a month, etc… I feel like every day I have to put on my gloves in order to prepare for my fight with the housing office in order to get things repaired or to be able to enjoy the same amenities that everyone else enjoys on base.

4. Since we are now being billed for utilities, living on base is not always the “cheapest” option.

Since last December we have been praying about our housing situation. I felt strongly that we needed to move into this one particular neighborhood, but I also didn’t think we should buy a house since we didn’t have a sizable enough down payment. I checked for rentals, but I hadn’t seen any for this neighborhood until last Friday night.

We called the number and come to find out the house I found is owned by a friend of a friend. We saw the house on Saturday and fell in love. It has everything I could have ever dreamed of in a house including a large lot on a cul-de-sac, and a finished basement! It was even in our price range! Before I got too carried away with the house I did the math and found out that renting this house could potentially cost us about $100 more a month during the hottest summer or coldest winter.

After we had the facts we discussed whether the off-base house was worth $100 a month. We decided that since we had room in our budget we could afford to pay a little more in order to get significantly more.

Everything fell into place so perfectly, I am thankful we waited on God’s timing instead of relying on our own timing.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about moving off base. I have one neighbor who I will really miss, but she is moving soon too, so I would be missing her anyway!

For now I am busy driving around the base looking for free boxes. So far we have spent $16 on packing tape, but we have found boxes and packing paper galore since this is moving season for the military. I am hoping to keep the move costs under $200. We are renting a large truck so we can do the move in one day, and that will be our biggest expense. I must say that the military community is great for helping each other out. Just today I had a lady knock on my door and ask if I would like her boxes. She noticed that my porch was covered in boxes and assumed I was moving out.

Even though we are moving to a larger home, I am still feeling the Itch to Pitch. Everything I can pass along, is one more thing I don’t have to pack up and load on the truck!

To the reader who asked if we will still be able to live on half our income if we move off base; I haven’t done a full calculation, but we should be able to maintain our savings goals in the new house. Once we move in I’ll redo the budget and post an update.

So, if I am a little scarce over the next few weeks it’s because I’m packing and pitching! Pictures coming soon.

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by admin -

Catching up on Reader’s Questions

I am cleaning out my inbox and trying to answer some reader questions that have been asked over the past year… yes, some of these questions are a year old, and I am sorry for that. Things are busy here and I am terrible at responding to emails.

From Pam: I haven’t frozen pancakes before.  How do you re-heat them?  I would’ve thought they would be too “rubbery”.  Any tips??

Pam, I have found that if I add more liquid to the mix when I make them they reheat better. These pancakes end up being a little thinner than normal, but they still taste good.  Also don’t over cook them when you reheat. Sometimes a pancake can be heated in the microwave in 20 seconds. You can also reheat in the toaster oven. It also helps to slightly under cook the pancakes, only as much as the outside color is light brown rather than dark brown.

From Melissa: Do you have a good recipe for biscuits using fresh ground flour?  Which grain do you use?  I use Kamut, Spelt, and Soft White Wheat for my bread and it is very light, but I have not had very good results with biscuits.

Melissa, for my biscuits I use either soft white or prairie gold. I usually have good results but every once in a while the biscuits flop for no reason. Here is my recipe:

Homemade Buttermilk Biscuits

  • 2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
  • 2-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 stick butter
  • 3/4 to 1 cup or so of kefir milk or buttermilk or regular milk

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

In a deep mixing bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda. Cut in the butter using a dough knife or forks until the butter is smaller than the size of a pea, but not as small as cornmeal. Add milk until you get a consistency similar to bread dough. Roll out about one inch thick and cut with a biscuit cutter or drinking glass. Bake for about 15 minutes on a greased cookie sheet.

From Rebecca: I would greatly appreciate a referral to any blogs your aware of that focus on only children or boys in general.

Okay readers, help me out on this one. Do you know of any blogs that focus on only children or boys? If so, please leave a link the comment section.

From Rachel: Where do you live that you can buy clothing at thrift stores with prices like that?

I shop at the Village Thrift Store in Laurel, MD. You’ll recognize me from the picture on my header. 😉

From Lisa: Would filling a crockpot onSaturday nite and putting it on low right away on Sunday morning help eleviate your concern for your noon meal?

Lisa, yes it probably would. I just need to remember to plan to do it!

From Kelly: I am curious.  Do you get up super early on the weekend to write your posts?  My struggle would be that the weekend is when we have family time and whatnot and how would I need to arrange my Saturdays to block off blog writing time.

Kelly, this is a struggle for me as well. Right now I don’t get up super early unless Cora wants to get up super early. I usually sleep in on Saturdays, meaning 8 to 8:30. I try and write in the afternoon while our toddler is napping because we tend to be home during those hours anyway. Sometimes I will write Saturday night. I am currently writing this post at 5:59 on Saturday evening. We had a late lunch so no one is hungry for dinner yet…

From Julie: I would LOVE to know what you did to get away from credit cards.

Julie, I cut them up and threw them away. It worked really well because a few days later the trash men came and I never saw them again. Seriously, I have a few posts in my archives about our cash budget, but I am working on a new one as well. I hope to publish it in the next few weeks.

To Serenity’s husband who left the following snarky comment: I must admit, I have given Serenity a little bit of a hard time about her fascination with your site. But lately I have noticed how many tips and techniques she gets from visiting on a regular basis, and have found myself visiting from time to time. Now, thanks to that expert POP-TART tutorial, we can all rest assured that when Saturday morning comes, the kids and I will be well taken care of. Let no one disrespect the POP-TART ever again. Who knew it could be SO easy?

Serenity’s husband: I am glad I was finally able to expand my reach with this POP-TART tutorial. I know many men are turned off by the pink background and oodles of baby pictures on my site. I had been looking for something that could help me reach across the aisle and engage my three male readers. I considered having my husband write a guest post about hunting or fishing but I didn’t want to lose my female readers. Finally, I realized that the POP-TART would appeal to both male and female readers, since everyone loves POP-TARTS.  I am glad your Saturday mornings are now filled with the sweet smelling aroma of cinnamon and brown sugar cooking in the toaster.

That’s it for today. I’ll try to get to more questions next week!

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