by admin -

Thankful for Your Prayers

Eleven days ago baby Cora entered this world. Her birth was traumatic and she ended up spending five days in the NICU. After she was born my husband and I knew the situation was more than we could handle on our own. We struggled with not wanting to alarm people about Cora’s condition, but at the same time we knew we wanted as many people praying for our little girl as possible.

My friend Joy put up a post on my blog. My mother emailed her church back home. Our bible study leader sent out an email to our church here, and our old church in West Virginia was notified as well. My sister-in-law told her bible study, and our daughter sent out a message via my twitter account.

Within hours, hundreds if not thousands of people were praying for our little Cora. Here are some of the tweets from her “birth” day.

HappyHousewife: Need prayer for baby Cora. Having hard time breathing. In NICU. From The Happy Housewife’s daughter.
apryll_lopez: @HappyHousewife baby Cora and your family are in my prayers. Let us know how she’s doing.
heartandhome: @HappyHousewife Praying for that little one and all of you!
mom2giqm: RT @HappyHousewife Need prayer for baby Cora. Having hard time breathing. In NICU. From The Happy Housewife’s daughter. (We’re praying!)
LookNoHands: @HappyHousewife You and baby Cora are in my thoughts and prayers!
fivejs: @HappyHousewife Praying for both Cora and Toni!
aikoheiwa: @HappyHousewife: Prayers for you and your family!
rebelmomma: Please everyone stop & say a prayer for @HappyHousewife & baby Cora who is in NICU & needs our prayers. Never met them but pray 4 them plz.
MrsMicah: @HappyHousewife will do.
jessicablizzard: @happyhousewife in my prayers! My baby was born at 37 weeks and had those probs too. 🙂
MistyNewsome: @HappyHousewife praying now!
joellem: @HappyHousewife Praying for you all! We prayed for you at the ministry where I work at our morning worship.
RobinPreg: @HappyHousewife Prayers for Cora and fam! Don’t forget to get a good breastpump & pump for Cora. Ask an LC for help. *hugs* to you all. #fb
Luvdamall: RT @HappyHousewife Need prayer for baby Cora. Having hard time breathing. In NICU. From The Happy Housewifes daughter.
Luvdamall: Many prayers go out to @HappyHousewife, baby Cora, and family.
CombsKitchen: @HappyHousewife Will be praying for baby Cora. Thank you for taking the time to update us.
NancysBlessings: @HappyHousewife I’ll be praying for Cora!
multitaskingme: RT @LuvDaMall: Many prayers go out to @HappyHousewife, baby Cora, and family.
MrsCPA: @happyhousewife Congrats and Prayers to you and your family.
MissMaryBeth: @HappyHousewife will keep mother and baby in my prayers. God Bless
fivejs: RT @HappyHousewife: Need prayer for baby Cora. Having hard time breathing. In NICU. From The Happy Housewife’s daughter.
twincident: RT @fivejsRT @HappyHousewife: Need prayer for baby Cora. Having hard time breathing. In NICU. From The Happy Housewife’s daughter.
fivejs: @twincident Not her, but I’ve talked to the Happy Husband who was in the room with @HappyHousewife. Baby details here: http://is.gd/ql4e
rockcandytv: RT @fivejsRT @HappyHousewife: Need prayer for baby Cora. Having hard time breathing. In NICU. From The Happy Housewife’s daughter.
onceamonthmom: @HappyHousewife will be praying for you and Cora!
MomZombie: @HappyHousewife Prayers sent baby Cora’s way.
allhisblessings: @HappyHousewife Praying for Baby Cora!
HomeBizLiz: Any more info from @HappyHousewife???
ASimpleWalk: RT @MomsToolbox Asking you to pray with me for my newest niece, my brother and my sister-in-law (@HappyHousewife) Thx. http://bit.ly/GMZuJ
PurplePrairie: RT @ASimpleWalkRT @MomsToolbox Plz pray w/me for my newest niece, my brother & my sister-in-law (@HappyHousewife) Thx. http://bit.ly/GMZuJ
HappyHousewife: Thanks to everyone who RT’d and prayed for Toni and Cora. They’re both looking a lot better. Cora is still in NICU…
5DollarDinners: Update on @happyhousewife and baby Cora http://www.thehappyhousewife.com/update-on-toni-and-baby-cora/

Most of the people who read my blog and my tweets have never met me in person. They only know me from what I write and allow published on this blog. The fact that so many people, especially those who don’t know me, were willing to take even a few moments out of their day to pray for our baby overwhelmed my husband and I. During my entire (and long!) hospital stay I was continually amazed at those who emailed, left comments, twittered, left messages on my facebook page, and called me to let me know they were praying.

Each time we would call or visit the NICU and receive more good news regarding Cora, I couldn’t help but think of everyone who was praying for her.

We are so thankful for everyone who has prayed for our family over the last few weeks. Even though our time in the hospital was difficult, your prayers sustained us. And for that I am truly grateful.

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For more Gratituesday visit Heavenly Homemakers.

by admin -

Update on Toni and Baby Cora

Cora Jane arrived this morning at 10:01 a.m. weighing in at 5 pounds 4 ounces! The delivery went well, but Toni is understandably tired. She’s doing her best to rest right now.

Baby Cora was born four weeks early, so her lungs are still a bit underdeveloped. Consequently, she’s been moved to the NICU because she’s having a little trouble breathing. Please pray that Cora’s breathing improves and that God would grant Toni and her husband comfort during this stressful time, especially since the NICU is a new experience for them.

Your prayers are coveted.

Joy Miller (a friend of Toni’s)

by admin -

No Foolin’ She’s at the Hospital

Toni wanted me to thank you for your suggestions and prayers. She’s at the hospital and they’re starting pitocin. She sent me home to get some rest before the big arrival and so I could put up a post for you all.

We’ll update as soon as we can – the WiFi is down at the hospital.
The Happier Husband

You can read Cora’s birth story here.

by admin -

Little Things

I like my room, I like the color of the walls, my new brown quilt, the furniture my in-laws gave us. But truth be told, I am getting a little bored sitting, resting and waiting. I know it is what is best for me and the baby, but the days are long up here in my room.

On Saturday my husband took the kids to Costco for free samples and cheap pizza. They came home with these.

It is amazing how a bouquet of flowers has made my room so much more enjoyable. Even sweeter is the fact that it was my seven year old son’s idea to buy me the flowers. He even had his wallet with him and offered to pay for the bouquet.

The days just got a lot shorter with my new view.

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Visit Heavenly Homemakers for more Gratituesday.

by admin -

The Key

This is Our Story, or my journey to become The Happy Housewife. I write a new chapter every few weeks, to catch up start at the beginning.

A few years earlier in my life I decided rather foolishly to move out. On the way out the door I attempted to remove the house key from my key ring and return it to my father. He handed it back to me and told me no matter what, I could always come home.

So, I was pregnant, unhappy, and scared. For those of you who have lived on small military bases you are probably familiar with a little thing called gossip. This base excelled at gossip and it wasn’t long after I found out I was pregnant that everyone I met told me a horror story about some lady who just had a baby. It went a little something like this;

Person I hardly knew: Hi UnHappy Housewife, I heard you were pregnant.

Me: Um, yes.

Person I hardly knew: Did you hear about Phil’s wife?

Me: Um, no…

Person I hardly knew: Well she was pregnant too, the doctors let her go four weeks overdue, then when she finally went into labor she got stuck in traffic on the two hour drive to the hospital. When she got to the hospital they told her there was no one there to give her an epidural. She was in labor for 56 hours at the hospital and finally had a c-section, the baby weighed 12 pounds.

After hearing story after story I became petrified to have a baby. Between pregnancy fears and fighting with dh, I was overtaken with depression. I would spend hours on the computer (this was before internet) playing solitaire. When dh would return from work the fighting would begin and only end when he left for his next shift. I felt trapped. I had no friends, my family was an ocean away, I had no where to turn.

Because of the stress, I was losing weight, my doctor didn’t seem concerned. He told me it was normal to lose weight at the beginning of a pregnancy.

I remember sitting in the corner calling my parents, crying hysterically. I begged for them to rescue me. I was miserable, they doctor’s didn’t care about me or the baby, and my marriage to dh was a huge mistake. I wanted to go home. But my parents would remind me I was already home. I had made choices and now I needed to live with them. While I sobbed on the phone, they would calmly remind me that I needed to work things out.

Finally in the heat of an argument with dh I locked myself in the spare room and dialed my parents’ number. I was so hysterical my dad couldn’t understand a word I was saying. I was begging and pleading to move back. My dad started to explain to me why I needed to stay. In my complete hysteria I started screaming over and over, “The key! The key! You told me I could always come home! I still have the key!”

I am sure my parents agonized over their decision. I know they were worried about me and the baby, but they also believed that marriage was a commitment for life. They didn’t want me to run away from my problems, but they didn’t want my situation to get any worse. Finally after much debate and with the agreement of dh we decided it would be best for me to return to the states to have the baby.

108 days after I arrived I boarded a plane to Miami. I was going home, with no intention of ever returning.

Writer’s note: This is the story of how I became The Happy Housewife. I am writing as I have time and try to publish a new chapter every few weeks. If you don’t want to miss the next installment you can subscribe to my blog.

by admin -

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ Schedules and Real Life

In my last post I discussed my daily schedule. While I try to stick close to my schedule there are times when it isn’t going to happen. Those of you who have read my blog for a while and who know me in real life know that a few years ago my husband suffered an injury during a deployment that left him unable to drive. For about 16 months I took him to work, doctor’s appointments, therapy, and anywhere else he had to go. I was also homeschooling my kids, and taking care of my husband because many of the medications he was on left him unable to get out of bed for days at a time.

Needless to say during that time in our lives my schedule looked a lot different. Many times I was unable to plan because we would be waiting to hear from a specialist for a last minute appointment. It was almost impossible to plan for anything. Most people are not dealing with extreme situations, they are dealing with sickness, piano lessons, unexpected company, a new baby, deployments, or a struggling child. Many times these issues are temporary, but they can still take us off course very quickly if we aren’t prepared.

My advice when life happens is to prioritize. Throughout my husband’s ordeal I had two priorities, helping him and the kids. We still homeschooled but we only covered the basics. I stopped using curriculum that was teacher focused and started using books that were easier for the kids to do on their own. I still checked their work and helped them, but I tried to find materials that were easy to do in the car, at the hospital, or without me.

Some areas will have to be sacrificed. Before everything happened with my husband I was doing a great job feeding my family healthy, economical meals. When I began spending much of my week in the car or at appointments I realized that having one or two meals a week that were not so healthy were necessary for me to keep my sanity. We used a lot of paper plates that year and my kids learned to like frozen pizza.

Try to get up at the same time every day. Even though I was tired and emotionally drained I got up early and went to the gym during this time. I would listen to sermons on my iPod and it was a great stress reliever. Getting up early also allowed me to be dressed and ready to go before the rest of the house woke up. I was prepared for the day, no matter what happened.

I relied on technology to help me with the kids. There were days that I would spend four hours in waiting rooms with most of my children. (That did not include the 45 minute drive each way) Four hours is a long time for a 3 or a 5 year old to sit with nothing to do. We would have backpacks with crayons, books and other small toys, but a waiting room is still a waiting room. I finally realized that is was okay to bring the laptop and let them play a game on the computer or watch a dvd. I have never been a big fan of using the television as a baby sitter, but I realized that if your kids don’t watch it, when you do need it, it keeps them spellbound for hours.

Stop focusing on what you are not doing and find the good. Usually when we find ourselves out of routine it is for two reasons, one we are lazy or two we are dealing with outside circumstances. If you are lazy, shape up… but if you are dealing with outside circumstances realize that you cannot do everything. Focus on one thing you would like to accomplish each day. Perhaps it is making one meal from scratch, making sure everyone has clean underwear, reading a book to your preschooler, getting through math with your fourth grader, paying the bills, vacuuming the family room, or making it to all your appointments. Set small goals for each day.

If things are really tough, ask for help. If people offer to bring a meal or help with the kids accept the help! Life is not a contest to see who had it the worst and who handled it the best. By saying no and not accepting help you are preventing people from serving your family in a time of need.

Realize that in most cases the situation is temporary. If it is not temporary you will need to redefine normal, but most of the time a sick child will get better, the deployment will end, the baby will start sleeping, or the company will come and go. I tend to think about it in terms of how will my current situation affect me in five years? Most of the time I realize I will probably laugh about it, or feel thankful that I had the opportunity to learn from the experience. When things seem crazy take a step back from the situation and find perspective.

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I realize this post discusses big interruptions in schedules, for little interruptions I would encourage you to keep going with your day.  Sometimes we get so worked up with our distractions we forget to just do the next thing. Take each interruption as it happens and then move on with your day.

Coming up next… What my kids do all day.

by admin -

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife Q & A Time

I decided I would try to answer some of the questions that are coming in via the comments before I forgot about them.

From Amy Ellen: Do you mind if I ask how your blogs come out during the school day? Do write them in advance and schedule the posting? I am so curious to know how you fit all that happens on this blog into less than an hour! But what about exercise too? I struggle to get up early enough for exercise and quiet time and shower before my littles wake up. Something has to go… or change. But, back to my question… do you have a time set aside to exercise?

Amy Ellen, WordPress has this really nice feature that allows you to schedule your posts in advance. I try to do the bulk of my writing on the weekend and then one night a week. Occasionally I will write a short post in the morning if there is a deal (like free ice cream or cheap groceries) but I usually try to write in advance. The only exception to this is the Commissary sales because those are not released until the day I write the post. I try to get up a little early on those days in order to write up the sales, but sometimes I fall behind on those days. I do try to limit my time on the blog, which is why I do a really terrible job at answering questions, returning emails, and commenting.

Exercise… hmmm. I must admit I am not a big go to the gym person. There is a gym about 3 minutes from our house, but I have never been. When it is warm we almost always go for a walk or bike ride after dinner. During the summer we are at the pool or playground five or six days a week. During the school year I sometimes take my younger three kids on a walk while the oldest three work on their independent work in the morning, it just depends. My husband and I invested in a very nice jogging stroller as well as a bike trailer several years ago. I realized that having a big family meant I might not always have time to exercise by myself every day. Taking the kids for walks or bike rides is one way I am able to exercise with the kids, they have fun and I am able to stay healthy.

From April: Then what about parks and your kids don’t seem to have much interaction with people outside the family. What about church? Here in the south most people go to church 3 times a week for regularly scheduled services and then sometimes there are extra things for the kids to do. What about getting together with other homeschoolers.

April, we live on a military base with access to 3 playgrounds within a 3 minute walk. My older children are allowed to go to the playground without me, per base regulations. They spend almost all their free time outside. Saturdays and Sundays we usually go somewhere as a family, either to the aquarium, site seeing in the city, or to a large city park.

We get together with other families on a regular basis on weekends and occasionally weeknights. In the summer months we also try to go the park after dinner almost every night. Our church has one service a week, bible study every other week and a parent youth meeting every other week. We attend those events faithfully barring illness.

As for getting together with other homeschoolers, we prefer to get together with other families on the weekends. We have participated in co-ops when our schedule allows, but this year it was not the best for our family. The decision to participate in extra homeschooling activities is made on a case by case basis.

I have found that in a large family my children are never without a playmate and consider their siblings close friends. This is beneficial to us, being a military family and moving every two years, they have built in friendships wherever we go.

From Jenn @ A Beautiful Calling: My oldest just turned 2. She loves to help around the house and obeys (most times) the first time however lately it hasn’t always been with a good attitude. Somewhere along the line she learned to stomp her little feet, or she will cry “no no” but in both cases, she does obey. She doesn’t talk much at this stage. You talk about a good/joyful attitude and I so agree! At what age do you begin to work on attitude and HOW??

Jenn, I don’t want to open a debate about discipline, because I know it can bring a heated discussion. We start working on attitudes from the very beginning. Stomping feet and yelling no, even with outward compliance is still disobedience in my opinion. It is more important that her heart is obedient, actions tend to follow the heart. I highly recommend Shepherding a Child’s Heart and Don’t Make Me Count to Three: a Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline because they address your question very specifically.

From Lawanda: I wanna know when you cut your veggies and grind your wheat and bake your bread. Is it a weekly thing or daily or less often or what?!

Lawanda, you are getting ahead of yourself. I haven’t written about the cooking part of my day yet. But since you are such a faithful reader I’ll answer your questions anyway. I grind wheat and bake bread about four times a week. Before I was pregnant, I would do the bulk of my baking on Sunday afternoon or Monday afternoon for the entire week. This worked really well, when I was doing it. I think I stopped when I was having morning sickness and never really got into the habit again. I will definitely start back up in the summer so I am only turning my oven on once a week, and I will probably do it late in the day when the house cools off. I also grind extra flour when I make bread and store it in the freezer for pancakes, waffles, cinnamon rolls and other breakfast foods. Freezing the flour does lessen the nutritional value, but it is still significantly better than white flour. As for cutting up the veggies, I have slacked on that as well. I was cutting up many items at the beginning of the week, but now I just cut as a I go, or cheat and buy pre-cut stuff.

From Rebecca: How old do you start your kids out with chores? I have my 14 mo old help pick up toys when we are done playing, but I don’t consider that a real chore.

If your 14 month old is helping to pick up his(her) toys I think that is great. My 14 month old’s were still trying to eat all their toys! I have always tried to make chores or jobs into fun games. My three year old thinks being able to help clean is a big deal because it makes her feel grown up like her siblings. One thing I did with my toddlers is give them a baby wipe to clean with while I was windexing or dusting. They loved cleaning everything with the baby wipe. It was harmless to them, even if they put it in their mouth and they felt like they were just like mommy. It sounds like you are off to a great start, we usually start allowing our kids to help clean (with water and paper towels or wipes) when they are around two. You know your child best and know what they are capable of doing with your help.

Thank you for all your questions. I will try to answer them in new posts as I have time. Coming up next ~ Schedules and Real Life.

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Thank

by admin -

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ My Schedule

Thanks to everyone who has commented on this series. You are all an encouragement to me! This post is what many of you have been waiting for, my schedule or daily routine. In an effort to keep my posts from becoming epic novels today I will discuss my schedule and write about the kids’ schedule later this week.

In a nutshell this is what an average day looks like for me.

  • Wake-up between 6:30-7 (usually closer to 7).
  • Read my bible, check emails, and weather.
  • Take a super fast shower.
  • Start breakfast between 7:30 and 8.
  • Breakfast, morning clean-up.
  • Start school by 9 am.
  • School with kids from 9-12 with interruptions for laundry, meal prep, and naughty children.
  • Prepare lunch with help from kids.
  • Lunch from 12-1. I make lunch and the kids clean up. I use this time to check email, catch up on a few chores, check school work.
  • 1-3:00 School with kids.
  • 3 pm – usually we are finished with school at this time. Three or four days of the week we have a project we work on together, cleaning, organizing, or fixing things around the house.
  • 3:30 – 4:30 pm Free time for everyone. I use this time to work on the blog, pay bills, return phone calls or emails, work on school admin, or work on craft projects.
  • 4:30 pm dinner prep
  • 5:30 – 6:30 pm Dinner /dinner clean-up
  • 6:30 – 8 pm kids ready for bed, devotions, general clean up of the house
  • 8 -10 pm mom and dad time, this varies depending on the day, sometimes we will both be working on the computer, sometimes I bake or sew, sometimes we hang out and chat.
  • 10 pm – In bed, I usually read for about 45 minutes to an hour after I am in bed.

Waking up: I am not a morning person. For many years I tried to get up at 5:45 or 6 but I just don’t operate well at that time no matter what time I go to bed. I also end up getting really tired in the afternoon when I wake up that early. If I sleep until 6:30 I am able to make it through the day without feeling tired.

Breakfast: We usually eat a hot breakfast in the morning. If I make biscuits or muffins I will make them, put them in the oven, and then take my shower to save time. If I make pancakes I will work on laundry or other small tasks in between flipping.

School: My oldest two children do most of their school work on their own. This frees me to spend more time with my little ones.

Lunch: When I am making lunch I will try to work on dinner too. If I am baking bread I will get it in the bread machine, or cut up veggies for dinner or brown the meat. Since I am already in the kitchen it makes sense to get these things done early.

Projects: Working together with my kids shortens the time we all spend cleaning. We are able to accomplish a lot in our half hour of work. My kids are extra motivated because they know that when they are finished their free time begins.

Free Time: I try to make the most of my free time. I usually have list (in my head) of things that need to get done and work in order of priority. Since my kids are having free time too, I rarely have interruptions.

School planning: I usually school plan for the next week on Fridays. Since I already have their books out it works well for me to look over the next weeks lesson’s, write up school schedules, and plan for the week. If I don’t get it all planned on Friday, I finish on Sunday afternoon. As for grading papers and checking work I try to do it as we go, occasionally I get behind and will spend an evening catching up.

Menu planning/ grocery shopping: I plan my meals for 30 days at a time. I was planning weekly menus but that took up too much time. Now I spend about an hour planning 30 meals and creating a shopping list. I spend one (long) evening shopping for all the nonperishable items on my list for the entire month. Then I only need to pick up dairy and produce on a weekly basis, which I can do in less than 45 minutes.  If you look at my meals we don’t eat many fancy, or time consuming dishes. I love the crock pot and anything I can prepare in less than 30 minutes. We eat many of the same meals over and over because I know how to make them quickly and the kids will eat it. I also don’t spend time going from store to store trying to match coupons and save money. I shop at the commissary and CVS, both of which are a mile from my house. I don’t have time to hit several stores each week.

I stay at home: I realize this is not possible for many families who take their kids to therapy or other appointments. I do not run errands throughout the week. I go to the grocery store and bible study, that’s it. I am able to accomplish a lot because I am not in and out of the car. We are very selective regarding the extra-curricular activities our kids participate in and evaluate everything based on how it will affect the entire family. I try to plan ahead so that I only need to make one trip to Target for extra supplies each month. This saves me time and money. I reserve my library books online and try to pick them up and return them while running other errands.

I don’t watch television: I haven’t watched tv for about 6 or 7 years. I cannot even imagine how much time I have gained by not watching tv. My husband and I watch a movie every 2 to 3 months, or maybe not even that often. It is not a priority for us, and we would rather spend our time doing other things. I check the news daily to keep updated and we receive a weekly paper, but I don’t usually read it! Having my evenings or mornings free from tv allows me to catch up on reading, or work on other projects after the kids go to bed.

My husband doesn’t stop working when he gets home from work. I don’t write this so that you will nag your husband to do more around the house, I write it because he is one reason I am able to do so much. We function as a team in our house. For as long as I can remember after dinner he bathes the kids and I do the dishes. He tucks the kids in bed almost every night. This was never something we discussed or wrote down it just happened. There were many years when he wasn’t home at night or not home at all, so he enjoys this time with the kids. If I take on a big baking or craft project he usually rounds up the kids and plays with them so I can work uninterrupted.

We clean on Saturdays. Saturday morning we all clean the house. On a good day we can clean the house from top to bottom in under two hours. If we have plans for a family outing on Saturday we clean on Friday night. Everyone has assigned jobs and we all work together. Because we keep the house picked up throughout the week our house is never super dirty, so our weekly cleanings take very little time.

I pull a late nighter about every 10 days. I try to do this on Friday nights but occasionally it happens another night. I seem to get a second wind about 10 pm and can be really productive for a few hours. While I don’t recommend breaking your sleep schedule with late nighters, it is something I do.

Organize, Minimize, Simply: The less stuff I own, the easier it is to maintain it. I am constantly de-cluttering my home. I pay bills online so I have less mail to deal with. We have no debt so we have fewer bills. Fewer nic-nacs mean less things to dust. Less furniture makes it easier to vacuum. If a toy is not played with frequently it takes a trip to Goodwill. If we have somewhere to go in the morning, clothes are laid out the night before. The diaper bag is always packed and ready to go. Library books are stored in one spot. Creating systems like these allow everyone to help out and make it easy for me to stay organized.

As I said before, I am not an expert, these ideas work for our family, they might not work for yours. My schedule doesn’t always go according to plan, my kids get sick, I am on bed rest, my dh deploys…. I’ll address these topics in my next post.

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by admin -

A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife

I have been struggling with my recent prescription for bed rest. I am a busy person by nature and have trouble “sitting” let alone staying in bed all day long. I want to make the most of this time and not have regrets, at the same time I want to do what is best for me and the baby… and for now that means hanging out in bed.

I also wasn’t sure what I was going to blog about (Yes,  I know you want me to write more of Our Story… I will). Most of my blog is practical not philosophical. It is made up of my daily life, things I do every day and when my day is spent sitting in bed there is little to blog about. Thankfully my answer to what to write about over the next few weeks came via email today.

A reader wrote:

I am a mother of 3 kids, ages 7, 4, and 6m.  I am in my 2nd year of home-schooling, but am quickly realizing that my giftedness is NOT in organization (of time, or house, or clutter, etc.)   You are able to accomplish SO much with your time, would you mind sharing your schedule??  For example, what does a typical day look like for you (before bedrest, of course!!)  What time did you get up?  When do you have your prayer time??  When do you start school??  How many hours do you school in each day??  Is there a separate room for school??   When do you lesson plan, meal plan, grocery shop, fix meals??  When do you get to read YOUR books?  When do you clean, sort through papers, file papers (DO you file papers???)  Do you have certain chores that get done EACH day, if so, WHEN do you do those??    Any specific information would help me a great deal…

I was so happy to receive this email because it has given me something to write about. Over the next few weeks (or until I have the baby) I hope to publish a series of posts titled, A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife. Hopefully these posts will shed some light on how I manage our day to day living and accomplish the things that I blog about.

I am going to start this series talking about my kids. I realize I don’t blog much about them specifically, but truly they are the key to how I manage to get as much done as possible. My kids are old. There is a big difference between having 3 children who are 7, 4, 6m and having kids ages 3, 5, 7, 8, 12 and 14.

Many years ago when I had two children ages 2 and 4 my house was never as clean as it is today, I was not as organized, we lived on chicken nuggets and Lucky Charms, and I bought all our birthday cakes at Publix. They also went to preschool a few times a week. It was only when our younger children were born that I realized the need to be more organized, neater, healthier and thriftier. It was out of necessity that my way of thinking changed. I realized I needed to do a better job of training my children, not only to be more obedient but training them to be adults.

Training kids is hard, and almost always interrupts something. Many times it seems easier to let things slide regarding discipline or to do it ourselves regarding work. Do we really want to get off the phone, computer, stop school work, put down a book, or finish up in quickly the bathroom because we need to deal with an “issue?” Usually we don’t want to be interrupted, however missing these training opportunities will cost you in the long run.  A disobedient 3 year old can be cute (or not) but a disobedient 13 year old who is taller than you is dangerous. It is easier to clean the sinks yourself, and probably you do a better job than your five year old but, if you keep cleaning the sink you will end up with a 10, 15 or 20 year old that doesn’t know how to clean a bathroom.

My advice to moms of littles (and I am one myself) is to make training your children a priority. First time obedience is key and teaching them how to help around the house is very important. My kids have all provided me with different opportunities to grow as a mom. I have had some that were more compliant and helpful than others. A few were just plain difficult. None of them are perfect and we still work on cheerfulness, joy, kindness, and self control every day.

When my two oldest were about 6 and 8 I realized the need to have helpers in my house. Dh worked 70+ hours a week and I was at home with a newborn, toddler and my older two. I could not possibly get everything done each day. I realized that training them to take over certain age appropriate jobs would make everyone’s lives easier. From there it snowballed, today my now 12 and 14 year old are capable of running our house. From cooking meals to cleaning, to babysitting they can do it all, and at times they do.

This does not mean they aren’t kids, they are. Because the workload is split between so many people in our home there is plenty of free time for everyone, including me, which is why I am able to write this blog.

Enough of the philosophical and on to the practical.

Training tools I recommend:

These books have really helped me grow in my parenting.

These tools have helped me get organized and have given me some great ideas on child training.

Now (although not really now because of bed rest) I use Motivated Moms to assign chores and keep our house clean. I print out the weekly chore list and assign everyone their jobs for the week. When someone finishes a job (and it had been inspected if necessary) we check the box marking that job completed. Before Motivated Moms I would print out a weekly chore list and post it on the fridge.

This is a sample of chores our children are assigned each week.

3 yo: dusting (with help), collect laundry, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, set table

5 yo: windex, collect laundry, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, match socks, dust pan, vacuum (with the little vacuum), set table, help with meal prep

7 yo: dust, windex, collect laundry, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, sweep, wipe counters, vacuum, set table, clear table, help with meal prep

8 yo: dust, windex, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, sweep, vacuum, wipe counters, wet jet, clean sinks, set table, clear table, help with meal prep

12 yo: assist younger siblings with chores, dust, windex, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, put away laundry, sweep, vacuum, wipe counters, wet jet, clean sinks, clean toilets, mop floors, set table, clear table, make meals, clean car, sweep porches, fix things around the house, assist with big projects

14 yo: assist younger siblings with chores, dust, windex, unload dishwasher, pick up toys, laundry, sweep, vacuum, wipe counters, clean sinks, clean toilets, mop floors, set table, clear table, meal plan, make meals, assist with big projects

Many of the organizing projects I write about on this site are done with the help of most if not all of my kids. I rarely work alone. I think working along side your children is a great way to build relationships and teach by example. More on that in the next post.

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Other posts related to kids and chores:

Little Kids and Chores

Laundry

by admin -

My First Attempt as The Happy Housewife

Do not read this until you have read the entire story.

Needless to say I did not arrive in Panama with the best attitude. It was not what I expected and I did not handle the disappointment very well. I soon found out that there were no jobs available and that the college was over 2 hours away on the other side of the country. (Remember the days before online classes?) I set out on my first attempt as The Happy Housewife.

The problem was, I didn’t know how to be a housewife. When I first arrived in Panama, our house was furnished with loaner furniture from the Army. Those of you who have lived with loaner furniture know what I am talking about. Our bed consisted of a mattress on the floor, 2 flat sheets and one pillow each. We had a couch, a table, and a few dishes. I tried to make do with the situation knowing our furniture would arrive soon, but it was very lonely all day in a nearly empty house while dh worked crazy shift hours.

I tried ironing his uniforms while he was at work, except I didn’t know how to iron. During one attempt I actually broke the VCR (a loaner) while trying to iron. How can you break a VCR while ironing, I am not sure, but somehow I flipped the iron off the ironing board and it soared through the air landing on the cord to the VCR, burning through the cord as well as pulling the VCR off the television onto the floor. The young broke newlyweds now had to buy someone a new VCR.

I tried cooking, but I didn’t know how to make anything. Our dinners consisted of fettucini alfredo, hot dogs, and frozen pizza. All other meals were cereal. I was too afraid to go to the grocery store by myself (plus I didn’t have a car) so our trips would involve dh and I walking cluelessly through the aisles, with our ration cards (remember those) and always ending up with the exactly same things in our cart. Hot dogs, noodles, Parmesan cheese, and 17 boxes of Lucky Charms. During Thanksgiving I tried to make food for the sailors and soldiers, but ended up spray painting the walls with potatoes and eating raw turkey for dinner. I was such a bad cook I didn’t realize our oven was broken for over 2 months!

When we found out of furniture had arrived I was so excited. I could finally decorate, rearrange and start playing house. Except (and I am not exaggerating) every piece of furniture we owned had been damaged by the movers. It was terrible. I was in tears as box after box was unloaded and I was pulling out our dented, scratched, and broken possessions. The legs had been broken off our chairs, huge rips covered the back of our couch, and our dining room table had warped so badly you almost couldn’t set anything on top of it without it sliding off.

I tried to bury my frustration on our now house full of broken stuff by painting. I had this brilliant idea to paint our entire downstairs bubble gum pink. I knew that regular painting wouldn’t look right so I decided to sponge paint. After about 3 and a half walls I decided the sponge painting was just too hard so I gave up. The rest of our time there was spent in a house with partially painted pink walls. Dh said he felt like he was living inside a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.

As for dh and I, and I am sure this will shock you, we couldn’t spend five minutes together without arguing. I found out quickly that marrying someone you don’t know at all, may not be such a good idea. He worked all the time and I was bored, scared, alone, and resentful of the situation. When he would come home from work I would be dying for someone to talk to and he would be dying to go to sleep. Since he works rotating shifts much of his sleep time was during the day while I was awake. I would usually let him sleep for two or three hours and then wake him up because I was so bored. Needless to say he wasn’t very happy with this habit of mine.

After a few weeks I found out there was a library on base so dh took me and I checked out every book I could. I have always been an avid reader and I was actually excited to have something to do with my time. The only problem was that I started to read Tom Clancy novels. They always seemed to be set in a third world jungle somewhere and I couldn’t help but relate these to my life. I would read all night and then lay in bed petrified that undercover agents or bad guys would come crashing through my door to kidnap me. I stopped sleeping.

One night as I lay in bed alone (dh was at work) I was trying not to think of everything bad that could happen to me. Just as I had calmed myself down I heard the doorknob turn on the front door. I completely panicked. I knew I was going to be kidnapped or killed. I tried to think of a plan, but I couldn’t even move. I laid there paralyzed in fear as I heard men’s voices in my downstairs. Then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs towards my room. I braced myself for what would happen to me… the door swung open, and standing there was dh, covered from head to toe in mud, uniform ripped, and looking quite upset. Not nearly as upset as I was since I thought he was there to kill me.

Turns out our car had broken down on the road to his work. This road was notoriously dangerous and dh was not too happy that he was stuck. He decided the best course of action would be to run the rest of the way to work and hope that someone passed him and offered help. Not only was the road dangerous it was in the middle of the jungle so there were all sorts of animals hiding in the dark as well. During his run for help dh fell into a huge pothole and ruined his uniform, became bathed in mud and bloodied his knees. Finally he was picked up by another sailor who drove him back home to get a clean uniform and return to work.

Except there were no clean uniforms. Remember my outside washer and dryer, I wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t going to use them. Laundry at our house would pile up until dh ran out of clothes and decided to wash something. So dh and his friend had to wait while he did a load of laundry in order to have a clean uniform to wear to work for the rest of the night. Dh was not happy, and I was not happy that he had scared me to death and ruined a nice uniform.

Unhappiness was a theme over the next few months. I found out that dh and I were complete opposites and not the kind that attract. We fought and bickered over everything from housework to food to music. It was a strange feeling because I was truly growing to dislike dh with all my heart and yet I would wait anxiously for him to return home from work so I could have someone to talk to. Even fighting was better than silence and our fights were anything but silent. I soon found out that dh had a temper like none I had ever seen and I was not one to back down from a fight and certainly not lose one. I remember screaming matches so terrible that dh would actually lose his voice. I would lock myself in the bathroom and cry for hours.

I tried to plot my escape but I didn’t know what to do. No one back in the states seemed to understand how bad it was and I didn’t have any place to go. No friends, no family, I was truly alone. The stress was more than I could take, and one day while taking a shower I started to feel faint and almost passed out. Dh took me the doctor and I that is when we learned I was pregnant….

Yes folks, another cliff hanger. I will try to have another installment next week. Until then, I have compiled all the installments and created a separate page for them. So if you would like to read Our Story in its entirety (or at least what I have written so far)  you can click on Our Story at the top of my header.