Growing like a weed…
In case you need a reminder, this was the first Cora and Kit photograph…
Author: admin
A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ Handling Strong Willed Children
A question from Denise:
I have a son who is almost 3. He will begin preschool this fall. For the past few months he has been “strong willed”, er DIFFICULT is more like it. He is like this with ME only, and not his Dad. I am a SAHM and am with him the majority of the time. All I hear is that “he is going through a phase”. Well my sanity is out the window and my nerves are shot. So…..I am wondering if you’ve had this problem with any of your kids, particularly your boys, and if so how did you get through it?
Before I start let me give this disclaimer. I am a young mom, while I have 7 kids, my oldest is only 14. I have not finished the race, so to speak. I have made many, many mistakes. My children are not perfect. They disobey, and I am not always consistent. What I write are my opinions on what has worked or hasn’t worked for our family.
Your son is probably difficult with you and not dad because he is with you all the time. You are the one who creates and enforces all the rules.
When it comes to dealing with strong-willed children remember these four words.
Consistent, Correction, Compliment, Connection
Consistency- When you make a rule stick with it and do not keep changing the rules. Strong willed children need firm boundaries. I would also suggest that you keep the “rules” to a minimum. Say yes as much as you can. Try to decide if you are saying no out of convenience or because you are keeping your child safe, developing character, etc… If a child is allowed to get away with something ten times, and then disciplined for it on the eleventh time they child will continue to push the limits.
Correction- Create consequences for disobedience and apply them consistently every time. As a mom of a few strong willed children I will tell you this is the hardest part. You will spend a lot of time correcting your child. Persevere. The road is long, you will get tired of correcting. There will be days when that is all you do. Stay the course, it does work, but some child need more “help” in this area than others.
Compliment- Pay attention when they do something right, obey the first time, or show positive behavior. Let them know that you appreciate it when they do obey. I had one child who was (and can still be) particularly difficult. I try very hard to remember to praise him. I tell him what a good big brother he is, how strong he is when he carries in the groceries, what a good helper he is when he clears the table. These compliments always seem to help him work harder and continue with the positive behavior.
Connection- Children who are strong willed tend to be… well, frustrating. It is so important to show these children unconditional love. This does not mean there are not consequences for disobedience, what it means is that once the consequence has been applied the child is loved and hugged as if nothing ever happened. It is easy to physically pull away from these children, but they need a lot of hugs!
A few remaining thoughts. A child who is disobedient is disobedient. They might be tired, hungry, stressed, out of sorts, but these things don’t cause disobedience, they just allow what is already in their heart to rise to the surface. That being said, give your child as many opportunities as possible to obey. If you child becomes cranky after 7:30 pm do not make dinner reservations for the family at 8 pm. Put them to bed and get a sitter. Don’t load your child up on sugary foods and them expect them to sit still for a two hour piano recital. Create an environment that encourages obedience and does not set them up for failure.
As I said before I am not an expert, my kids are still young. So far, these techniques have worked for us. It is up to you and your husband to determine what will work best for your family.
Five Weeks
She’s a big girl now in her swing….
$1 Airline Tickets for Active Duty Military
Hurry! Ends tomorrow!
From a DefenseLink Press Article
WASHINGTON, May 5, 2009 – In honor of National Military Appreciation Month, JetBlue is offering active duty military personnel $1 fares for domestic, nonstop flights, for a limited time, departing from the two JetBlue cities nearest to the nation’s capital: Washington Dulles International Airport in Dulles, Va., and Richmond International Airport in Richmond, Va.
The airline also will donate $15,000 to the Wounded Warrior Project, a nonprofit organization that honors and empowers wounded warriors.
To take advantage of the offer, service members must book between today and May 7, or while seats last, for travel between May 8 and May 31 from Dulles or Richmond to any JetBlue destination in the continental United States served nonstop from those airports. Proof of eligibility is required. The fare is available to active-duty service members only; retirees, reservists and military families are not eligible for this offer.
Upon check-in, military travelers must present a valid Department of Defense common access card and official documentation at the JetBlue service counter verifying authorized leave from duty to show proof of active status. Travel booked with this offer is not eligible for online flight check-in or at an airport kiosk. Failure to present these documents will void the reservation, officials said.
To book the $1 fare, call 1-800-JETBLUE (538-2583) and select Option 4.
A big bloggy WOOT to JetBlue for supporting our troops!
A HUGE thanks to my friend Nancy for alerting me (and you) to this deal.
Please tweet, stumble, DIGG this post to help spread the word. 🙂
Cora and Kit
Cora and Kit
May 2, 2009
One Month Old
The picture is a bit deceiving as the outfit is a tad too long for her, but she is getting bigger!
Cora waving hello :).
Live in Our Skinz
The winner is:
Here are your random numbers:
11
Timestamp: 2009-05-10 23:42:27 UTC
Michelle wrote: Wonderful post. Very important information. Lost my bff to skin cancer on 2/14/07 Miss her dearly as she was only 46. Much to young to be gone. If I win would love the Flutter – S – Butterflies YSS-FLU one in a size 4 for my grand daughter. Her mom loves pink and I love Butterflies. A win win situation. Great site.
I am not in the habit of bossing people around, okay who am I kidding, my entire family reads this blog and they know I love to boss people around. But, I try not to boss my readers around… until today.
Protect your children this summer!
May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month, since I grew up in Florida and spent most of my life in the water I am very aware of the dangers of skin cancer. While I have not personally been affected by skin cancer, Rhonda Sparks has, she lost her 32 year old husband to the disease several years ago. After her husband died she turned a tragedy into something positive and started UV Skinz, a company that sells swim shirts, shorts, hats and accessories.
For the past several years my kids have worn swim shirts whenever they are in the water and even when they are out of the water! In my opinion swim shirts are an excellent alternative to sun screen, you never have to reapply and you never miss a spot, not to mention you don’t have to keep buying more and more sunscreen. Did you know that one in five Americans develop skin cancer every year? You can prevent this from happening to your children by protecting them with a swim shirt.
Now, here is why you should buy your shirts from UV Skinz. Over the years I have purchased swim shirts from many different companies, Old Navy, Target, Lands End, LL Bean, local Surf Shops and not a single shirt held up as well as the ones I have from UV Skinz. Last summer one of my boys had a UV Skinz shirt and the other had one from Old Navy. This year when I pulled out their shirts from the summer clothes box the Old Navy shirt was worn thin and would not give my son any protection this year. The UV Skinz shirt looked almost brand new.
Here is a picture of my son last year in his shirt.
This year in the same shirt.
As you can see the shirt hasn’t faded even though I washed (and line dried) it many times last year. My daughter loves her shirt and today I am ordering shirts for the rest of the family.
There is a reason I waited until May to order my other shirts, other than the fact that I live in Maryland and it is currently 55 degrees and rainy. In hopes of spreading the word and helping to prevent skin cancer, UV Skinz is giving away a free baby skinz with every order during the month of May. It is Rhonda’s hope that customers will then donate the baby shirt to someone in need and pay it forward. UV Skinz are free of harsh sunscreen chemicals that can irritate baby’s sensitive skin, the shirts also carry a UPF50+ rating, blocking more than 98% of the sun’s harmful UVA and UVB rays.
Many parents have their children wear t-shirts to protect them from the sun. Personally I think this is a bad idea. T-shirts are not made for swimming and do not protect as well as swim shirts from the harmful rays of the sun when they are wet. Also, I have seen many children struggling to swim in a weighted down water-logged t-shirt. Swim shirts do not absorb water and are made for swimming.
Finally investing is swim shirts is a frugal choice. Last year we did not go through tubes and tubes of sunscreen. We invested in swim shirts and one tube of sunblock for their faces. The UV Skinz are so well made that they are able to be worn year after year saving me money in the long run. But more important than saving money I am saving my children’s skin from the harmful effects of the sun and that is priceless.
UV Skinz is giving away your choice of swim shirt to one of my readers. Go to the UV Skinz site, look around and then leave me a comment letting me know what shirt you would like to win.
Would you help me and UV Skinz spread the word about Skin Cancer Awareness Month? If you have a twitter account you can twitter about this giveaway and use the hashtag #UVSkinz. You can also write a blog post about protecting your kids from the sun this summer and link back to this post. You can pass the word on to family and friends. You can also sign up for the UV Skinz monthly newsletter which will keep you informed regarding all things sunny. The sign up link is on the left sidebar of their homepage. For each thing you do leave me another comment and that will earn you another chance to win a swim shirt of your choice.
So let’s recap:
Sun = bad
Swim shirts = good
Rhonda and UV Skinz = super cool mom of three boys turning a tragedy into something positive
Giveaway = you can win your choice of a swim shirt from UV Skinz
Ways to enter = Leave a comment, tweet with the hash tag #UVSkinz, blog about it, tell your friends, sign up for the newsletter and don’t forget to leave a comment for each thing you can do to help promote Skin Cancer Awareness month and this giveaway.
Oh, I forgot to add, the contest ends Thursday May 7, 2009, Cora time!
I am not in any way affiliated with UV Skinz. I don’t make any money if you buy from them. I am promoting them because I believe in what Rhonda is doing and want to support her 100%.
A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ More Questions
Here are answers to a few more of your questions.
Is there a separate room for school?
Our house has a living room, dining room, and family room. Our living room has become our school room. We have a school table in the room, the computer, and all the school books. The school table is short so it isn’t comfortable for me to sit there for long periods of time. I usually sit at the dining room table because it is huge and we have comfy chairs. The kids who are working with me sit at the table, as well as the kids who need a little extra supervision.
When do you clean, sort through papers, file papers?
As I mentioned before we try to keep the house clean on a daily basis. I realize I sound like a broken record but has been the best tool for staying on top of household chores. We do our big cleaning on Saturday morning. I hate to file papers. I have a small desk in the kitchen and I keep all non school paperwork on the desk. Above the desk are cabinets that store my binders, which are my filing system. I usually wait until I cannot see the top of the desk and then file. It really doesn’t take me that long, and I am not sure why I procrastinate in this area of my life. The good thing is that since I try to do everything online (regarding bills) I don’t have a ton of papers to file. It usually takes about two months for my desk to get to critical condition.
From Courtney, Would you mind sharing more about the projects that you have scheduled everyday? What kinds of things do you do? Do you quit when your allotted time is up, or keep working? Do you break things up to finish over several days?
The projects I work on during the day are basically everything you see on my Tackle it Tuesday posts. They can be anything from cleaning out the fridge or pantry to making a purse. I have found that with a lot of people living in a small space the clutter builds up quickly. If the project is something that the kids are helping with I try to make it a 30 minute project. Usually, with so many helping hands, most projects can be tackled in that time. For projects that I am doing myself I usually set a time limit. If I don’t finish the entire project I will stop when my time is up and continue working on it the next day. Years ago I would plow through projects regardless of time. This usually meant that dinner would be late, or we would end up ordering pizza because I was consumed with my project. I found that most of my projects can be spread out over a few days and I am still able to get my regular “jobs” done.
From Rachel, Have you considered cleaning with vinegar and water instead of chemical-based cleaners?
Absolutely, this is something I hope to do once the baby is born. For those of you who are interested in making your own cleaners Rachel has some resources on her site.
From Sarah: What are your little girls wearing at the table to do their crafts?
My girls are wearing large plastic smocks. I purchased them at a yard sale years ago. They are great for keeping their clothes clean. Before I had those I used my husband’s old t-shirts, they worked well too.
From Larry, I maybe asking a question that is answered therein but I missed it. I read your “story” and it ends with you discovering you were pregnant. Are you or have you written the rest? I’d love to hear the rest of the story.
I have not written the rest of the story. This story is actually very hard for me to write because I am not proud of my behavior and have a hard time letting people see the yucky side of me. At the same time, I feel there are reasons for this story to be written. I try to write a “chapter” every two weeks.
I think I have answered all the questions. If I missed one please remind me, feel free to leave any other questions in the comment section.
Due Date
Today is your due date, and you are almost one month old. Hard to believe 4 weeks ago today I was admitted to the hospital and we would soon meet you. You are a blessing to our family and as the days go by it is hard to remember a time when you were not with us. We love you so much!
Ways to Encourage Our Children to Love Each Other
The following is a guest post from Tracy who blogs at Girls to Grow.
As a Mom, one of the things I desire to see in my children is a genuine love for one another. While there will always be moments of disagreement and times of strife, I hope that my daughters will always have a close and meaningful relationship.
Here is a list of five ways we can encourage our children to love each other.
1) Cultivate a spirit of family unity. There are a variety of ways to do this, the most basic of which is just spending time together. The more family members do together, the more memories they create and bonds they form. These times needn’t be fancy or expensive; something as simple as a family picnic or game night can provide lots of fun and togetherness.
2) Teach respect for each other’s person, possessions and privacy. We stress that there should never be hitting, pinching, pushing, etc and an appropriate punishment is determined if any of those occur (which they do from time to time). As to respecting other’s possessions, we instruct our children to always ask permission before using or borrowing each other’s things. If one of them damages the other’s item, it is the responsibility of the one who has done the damage to fix or replace it. Along these same lines, we ask that they always knock and receive approval to enter the other’s room if the door is closed.
3) Be quick to ask for and grant forgiveness. If one child has wronged another, he/she should be willing to admit their mistake and apologize. Do whatever is necessary to make the situation right. If you are the offended one, be ready to forgive. Don’t allow grudges or bitterness to grow.
4) Protect the family relationship. Never repeat stories of events that happen in the home that would be embarrassing to a brother or sister. Be protective of your siblings and their feelings. Above all, be thoughtful and considerate toward those in your family. We are often more gracious to friends, neighbors and acquaintances than we are to those we love and treasure the most.
5) Recognize and celebrate individual accomplishments. All of the family members should rejoice when one of them hits a home run, memorizes a difficult piano piece or gets an A on a test. I know some mothers who have a special plate that a child uses for dinner when they have achieved a certain goal; others may make a favorite meal or have a small award designated for honoring these occasions. On the flip side, it’s a great thing for our children to learn to empathize when a sibling has a difficult time. Help them think of ways to encourage each other when someone has had a bad day.
These are just a few ideas for helping our children learn to develop that special relationship they can have with each other. I’d love to hear ideas you may have for cultivating family ties and strengthening those bonds between brothers and sisters.
Tracey is a wife and mom of two girls who can be found blogging about all things related to families and parenting at Girls to Grow.
This post is linking to Works for me Wednesday.
Cora’s Quilt
Remember my friend who helped clean my room and make a baby sling? Well she totally outdid herself by showing up at my house on Saturday with a gift for Cora.
I’d link to her blog, but she doesn’t have one. She must be too busy helping people clean and making them gorgeous quilts to have time to blog.
She even quilted Cora’s name in the quilt.
As you can see Cora loves her quilt almost as much as I do.
This post is linking to Talk about Tuesday.