Before reading make sure you read
Why I Should Have High Tailed it Out of the Apartment Complex
Why You Should Never Let Boys with Long Hair Take Your Daughters to the Airport
I had just agreed to get married… to someone I hardly knew.
As I left the plane long-haired hippie was not there to pick me up. Where was he, was this all a joke, did he get cold feet, or was this my golden opportunity to come to my senses, take a bus home and go back to life as I knew it.
Before I had time to come to any conclusions long-haired hippie arrived, breathless and carrying a bouquet of flowers. Apparently he took a wrong turn driving to the airport and was delayed. The rest of the afternoon is a blur although I remember driving to the same place I had recently paid a speeding ticket, signing some papers and then reciting something about all my earthly possessions and till death do us part. Honestly, death didn’t seem too far off because soon after I was married (less than two hours after getting off the plane) I came to the realization that….
MY PARENTS WERE GOING TO KILL ME!
Did I forget to mention that my parents had no idea that their first born was secretly plotting to get married to someone she barely knew and who they didn’t know at all? And did I forget to mention that long-haired hippie was an atheist and my parents were former missionaries?
I had only been married about 3 seconds when all of this became very clear. What was I thinking, did I seriously just marry this guy? Am I going to have to move in with blind crazy guy who never brushed his hair? Is long-haired hippie really going to keep his promise of going back into the Navy? Did I just throw away my college plans?
I realized that I had to tell my parents as soon as possible because every second that passed I felt sicker and sicker about the mess I had just created. We drove to my parents’ house, and to illustrate how this is probably the absolute worst moment in my life, even as I type this 16 years later I still feel sick about it! When we arrived, my parents were not home. My little brother was though, so I decided I could tell him and practice the death march.
When I told my brother (who was 17 at the time) a slow grin came over his face. I am not sure, but he was probably thinking that no matter how much trouble he ever got in for the rest of his life, it would be nothing compared to what his big sis had just done. I had just given him a get out of jail free card for the rest of his life!
Telling my brother really did nothing to calm my completely stressed out self, so we ended up going to dinner with long-haired hippie’s family. I spent the entire meal trying to figure out a way to tell my parents that I had just gotten married in a way that wouldn’t upset them. Yes, I was insane at this point. As the meal ended I knew the time had come to meet my fate and go back home (well, I guess it was my old home) and drop the bomb.
Coming soon…. Our Story ~ Part Five or Shock and Awe
