No one prepared me for teenage drivers. I currently have one child with a learner’s permit and another scheduled to get his in a few weeks. Stinky diapers, crayons on the wall, temper tantrums, and snotty noses are nothing compared to sitting in the passenger seat while you child is learning to drive. I think the authors of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” need to title their next book, “What to Expect When Your Teenage Son Gets His Learner’s Permit.”
I’ve learned a lot over the last year and a half about teenage drivers, so I though I should share this information, so that you, unlike me, will be prepared when your first born wants to drive.
Research the Laws of Your State
Each state requires something different to get a learner’s permit/ driver’s license. Shockingly, some states have even changed the laws since we got our permits! 🙂 Do not start researching these laws when your child turns fifteen, start when they are fourteen, because in some states you can get your permit on your fifteenth birthday.
I’m not suggesting your child get their permit at fifteen, but it is better to know to requirements before driving is even an option for your child.
Decide When Your Child is Ready to Get Their Permit
Just because your child can get their permit doesn’t mean they are ready. Sit down with your child and talk about what you expect from them as a driver. Let them know if you have no intentions of allowing them to get their permit immediately. Discuss with them when you think they will be ready to take the learner’s test.
Set Ground Rules Before They Have a Permit
Will your child be allowed to drive friends, talk on the phone, or eat while driving? This might depend on the laws of your state, but make sure your child knows what you allow before they get behind the wheel. Will they lose driving privileges due to poor grades? Will they be allowed to drive with girlfriends/ boyfriends? Setting boundaries and rules before they start to drive is easier than changing them down the road.
Make Sure You Have Time Available to Teach Them to Drive
Your kids aren’t going to learn how to drive on their own. They need an adult helping them make the right decisions. Before they get their permit make sure you have the time to take them out driving. I’ve known families whose children have had to renew their child’s learner’s permit because they didn’t get enough driving experience to take the test before it expired.
Kids need a lot of experience behind the wheel in different situations. Many states now require a certain number of hours to get a license, but even if your state does not, make sure they practice driving in the rain, at night, during rush hour, or in difficult conditions. You want to make sure they are comfortable in any situation before they drive without you.
Talk to Your Insurance Company
Many companies allow your teenage driver to be added to the policy for free if they have a learner’s permit, but you’ll want to let them know you have an additional driver. You might also want to review your coverage and consider lowering your deductible depending on your child’s natural ability to drive. 🙂
Budget for Additional Gas
For my daughter driving did not come naturally. When she first got her permit we had to drive on Saturday mornings in an empty office park until she was confident enough to drive on the road with other cars. It took a few months before she was able to drive without making special driving outings. Make sure you budget for the extra gas when your child is starting out, especially with the high price of gas.
Teach Them How to Fill ‘er Up
Teach your child how to fill the car with gas before they are driving alone. Discuss what type of gas you put in the car and familiarize them with pay at the pump gas pumps. This is also a good time to talk about who is going to pay for gas when they get their license.
Get a Tune Up
Make sure the car your child drives is in good working condition. You’ll probably want to make sure the brakes, power steering, and signals are working properly before an unexperienced driver gets behind the wheel. In many states your child cannot pass the driver’s test in a car that needs significant repairs.
Consider signing up for a roadside assistance program (Allstate has a plan where you only pay when you need it) for peace of mind when your child starts driving alone.
Get on the Same Page With Your Spouse
You say stop, he says go. You say slow down, he says speed up. Talk to your spouse about how you are going to teach your child to drive. If the child is hearing one thing when they drive with mom and another when they drive with dad they will be confused and less confident on the road. Mixed messages can cause your child to second guess their decisions while behind the wheel.
Relax
For many parents watching the child who set the front yard on fire with a magnifying glass get behind the wheel of the family car can be a scary thing. But a tense parent is a tense driver. You want your child to feel comfortable behind the wheel so remember to relax and gently guide them as they drive. Some kids don’t need a lot of help, but those who do need a parent who isn’t tearing off the door handle due to stress.
Try to avoid grabbing the steering wheel, stomping your foot on the floor (as if to brake), and gripping the dashboard with your hands while your child drives. Although my parents did all these things when I learned to drive and I turned out okay, it might be better to use a hands off approach.
