Month: December 2013

Today I headed to the Geography Bee with my son. All the kids displayed their projects and then participated in a Geography Bee. I really don’t know why we don’t just hold these things for parents, since clearly the parents did  A LOT of work on the displays. ( I did too- I’m not hatin’)

I realized a few things at this event.

Homeschool parents, for the most part, are overachievers. This isn’t a bad thing, but clearly we think we still have something to prove.

We put a lot of pressure on our kids to succeed in front of others. While those kids sat for the Bee you could see them looking at their parents continually for approval. I’m not saying non-homeschool parents don’t do the same, but it seemed stronger here.

All of us think we are not doing a great job. Why is this? The kids at this event seemed nice, well adjusted, and pretty darn smart. They answered some questions that would have stumped me and I like Geography!

I wish I had some insightful commentary for homeschool families but I don’t. I showed up with my plate of desserts purchased 30 minutes earlier from the grocery store. I felt guilty that I hadn’t whipped up a Pinterest worthy dessert to show off my baking skills.

My son had his shoes untied, possibly no socks, and a pair of pants that fit him better last year.

Part of this is that he only had five minutes to get ready, but part of it is that he’s 13 and just doesn’t care.

He’s a nice kid and he loves his family. My favorite part of the evening was our 20 minute late night dinner at Five Guys after the event was over. Just the two of us. It made the rest of the night worth it.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

Being a single parent is hard.

I was stuck at the airport today. With the crazy winter storm blasting the East coast they weren’t sure if we were going to be able to land. They came over the intercom to announce that if they couldn’t land in DC they would just continue on to Boston.

Say what?

That didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. If there is a winter storm, I think you should head south not north, but I digress.

I scrambled to find sitters for my kids if I wasn’t able to make it home.

Not only was I stressed about being stuck in Boston I also had to figure out everything at home. After getting things figured out, we were able to land in DC, crisis averted.

I think that is one of the hardest things about deployment.

Every problem is your problem. Every crisis is yours to handle. There is no rest.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

We are not in this alone.

I cannot tell you how much your prayers, emails, Facebook messages, and in person words mean to our family.

I’ve tried to respond to all your emails, but sometimes I just don’t have any extra minutes in the day. Please know that it is only through your prayers and encouragement that we are making it through this.

There are good days and bad days but I feel at peace about all of it.

Deployment is not easy but it is an opportunity to grow in grace and faith.

Thank you all for walking through this with us.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

One of my husband’s coworkers stopped by last week to bring us a cake for Thanksgiving. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him when he stopped by so we connected via email.

In his email he said something interesting and very true. He said when we was deployed his wife would never ask for help, but was always disappointed when people didn’t stop by.

It was like a lightbulb went off when I read those words.

Military spouses are strong. We are independent. We don’t want people to feel sorry for us. We don’t reach out for help, not because we don’t want or need it, but because we are so use to bearing the burden we don’t want to place that on anyone else.

This week my friend who lives in Florida had dinner delivered to my kids while I was away. I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t even complain about the fact that my kids live on cereal when I’m gone. A few weeks ago my editor stopped by with dinner.

They didn’t ask if I needed help, they just did it.

I share this because many people have relationships with military families. My advice, don’t ask how you can help, just help. Don’t ask if you can bring dinner, just bring it. Don’t ask to babysit, just give them a date.

Military families serve, that’s what they do. They have a hard time being served, but they need it and it means so much to them when people do it.

Last week we didn’t need a chocolate cake for Thanksgiving.

But we needed the feeling of being cared for, thought of, and not forgotten.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

I’m out of town for work. I like to travel but I don’t like to be away from my family.

If I’m being really honest with myself this time feels different. I miss the kids and have been texting them all day, but it is nice to not have to make anyone dinner, pick up toys, or remind people to do their chores.

Even though I worked almost twelve hours yesterday, it feels like a vacation. I’m trying not to think about the part when I get back and need to make sure everyone is caught up on homework and cleaning this weekend.

I went out to dinner with the folks I work with and they ordered this…

I’m NOT an adventurous eater. In fact give me a grilled cheese or a salad and I’m content. But I also want to be open to trying new things. Of course I didn’t think those new things would be staring at me from the dinner table.

Once you got over the fact that the fish was staring at you it was pretty tasty. I only had two bites- because the whole staring at me thing kind of creeped me out, but it was good.

I also tried duck’s neck. Thank you Duck Dynasty for the fact that I even considered eating that little appetizer.

I can’t wait to get back to see the kids, and I’m working like crazy to get caught up on tons of projects so next week I don’t have to work much at all. Being a working single parent is really hard. I’m not sure how folks do it.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

Today I spent some time in the car with my seventeen year old son. It isn’t very often that I have alone time with my older kids since they both work and have a pretty full social life.

I like this kid.

Not just because he’s a lot like me, we can sit in silence for extended periods of time without it being awkward or thinking something is wrong and then pick up a conversation out of nowhere.

He’s the one who has shown the most levelheadedness since his dad has been gone. When I get upset with the kids he’s kindly asked me to consider why I’m upset.

The other day he came home from a meeting and I was upset with him because his bathroom was a wreck. When he walked into my room I let him know how disappointed I was in the room.

After I was finished with my lecture he didn’t say anything. I asked him if he thought I was being too hard on him. He told me that it was hard to walk into my room and get reprimanded before even saying hello.

He was right.

He could have stormed off, yelled back, or just shut down. But he didn’t.

This kid isn’t perfect, in fact he’s given me more than a few gray hairs.

But I’m so proud of how he has handled all of this. There are so many bright spots in this deployment, I hope to share them all before it is over.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

As we drove around town tonight and I couldn’t help but notice all the lights and Christmas decorations. They are in stores, along the streets, and Christmas music is playing everywhere.

I don’t mind the Christmas music, my daughter has been playing it since Halloween. This is my favorite time of year. The only time when I am able to tolerate winter. For some reason, being cold in December makes sense. Being cold in March doesn’t!

With all the lights, decorations, and music I couldn’t help but think about how much I miss our whole family being together this month. We were apart last year until the day before Christmas, and we were apart two years before that.

Decorating the tree, making cookies, and trying to eat all the leftovers without dad is sad. Although, I know for him there will be no tree, no decorations, and no leftovers.

Christmas just isn’t the same without our family together. My older kids are getting old. I’m realizing that we might not have many more Christmases together with just our a family. I realize there is nothing I can do about this Christmas, but I want this one to be our last as a family apart.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

It was a long day. People who know me will tell you I don’t like to leave my house. Not in a phobia sort of way, I CAN leave my house, I just don’t like to.

After spending the past three nights, awake with a crying four year old I decided it was time to take a trip to the doctor’s office.

Diagnosis: Brochitis and ear infection.

We spent most of the afternoon running errands, picking up prescriptions, and getting groceries. I was gone half the day. I realize this is normal for many people, but when I’m unloading groceries at 8:45pm and then sitting down to check school work it makes for a long day.

It was the first time in a while I was tired of doing it all by myself. I’m not blaming anyone or angry. Just tired.

I’ve heard the flu is going around. Last year (when I was doing the single parent thing for four months) every single kid got the flu. It was terrible. I’m trying not to think about that as I dose out the pink stuff this week.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.

Mail is super slow so he’s been sending postcards in advance for the family.

My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days.  These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence.  I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014.  To read from the beginning, click here.