On Base Housing ~ The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

On Base Housing ~ The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Base housing, you either love it or hate it. When orders arrive one of the first things we do as military spouses is check out the housing website. Is it new, old, on base, off base, what is the BAH, and will they let me bring my doberman? Housing all over the United States is being privatized and remodeled at a furious pace. On some bases the quality of military housing far exceeds the housing available in the local economy, while other housing should be bulldozed.

The Good

Priced at your BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing). When you sign a lease to move into a military home you agree to pay your entire housing allowance to the housing office. This price pays your rent, utilities, and in some cases your yard maintenance. There are very few financial surprises when you live on base.

Safety of living on base. Many housing areas are located on the military installation, which means you have 24/7 security.

Amenities. Many of the bases have pools, playgrounds, and gyms that are available for you to use for free as a perk for living on base.

Larger Housing. Some of the new housing is quite large and many junior enlisted families are getting much more out of their BAH than they would if they lived off base.

Pets Allowed. Most bases allow pets in housing without a pet deposit. Certain breeds of dogs are forbidden on many bases.

Community Feel. When you live on base you are surrounded by people who are in the your exact same situation. Many families are dealing with deployments, shift work, and watches. I have found that people are quick to befriend their neighbors because everyone has moved many times before.

Close proximity to work. If you are living on base, chances are pretty good you are living close to work as well. This could eliminate the need for a second car if the active duty member is able to bike or walk to work.

Close proximity to Commissary. Many times the commissary will be within walking distance from housing. With the cost of gas fluctuating it is nice to be within a mile of two of a inexpensive grocery store.

Housing is based on rank and number of children. If you are a lower rank but you have a lot of kids, you will get a larger home, regardless of your BAH. This means an E-3 with 4 kids will be living in a 4 or 5 bedroom home, even though they could probably only afford a 2 bedroom apartment on the economy.

The Bad

Utility Billing in some areas. Many bases that have been privatized are now monitoring and charging for utilities if you exceed the average use of like homes. So, if you are a utility hog you will be paying out of pocket for your utilities. But if you conserve, you will be refunded the difference each month.

False Sense of Security. Yes, the fact that you are living within the confines of the gate does keep certain people off base. But, there are many creeps and thieves that live in your neighborhoods. There is crime on military bases and people should use the same caution they would use out in town.

Small/ Old Outdated Housing. Even though many bases have privatized their housing, there are still many bases with substandard units. It takes time to remodel houses, so it is possible you could get stuck in a small, old house.

Housing Office. Usually there is only one housing office, so if you are having trouble, you don’t have many other options.

Same old, same old. Base housing usually isn’t very pretty. The materials used are usually cheaper and everyone’s house looks exactly the same, at least on the outside.

Lack of storage. This is hit or miss, I have lived in houses with a tremendous amount of storage and others were we were getting rid of things left and right in order to fit into the house. Many older homes do not have basements, attics, or garages.

Difficult for nonmilitary friends to visit. I always felt bad that our friends had to get out of their vehicles and were subjected to searches, in order to visit us. It made our house a less than ideal place for events and parties.

The Ugly

Sometimes base housing is ugly, really ugly.

In the end living on base is a personal decision that depends heavily on your personal circumstances. With the recent down turn in the economy it is sometimes a better deal to live off base. We were able to find a house significantly bigger than our base house for less than our BAH. In other places, the cost of living is extremely high and living on base allows people to stay within their budget.

I do recommend that junior enlisted families live on base if  the housing is adequate. Income is limited and living on base helps control fluctuating expenses such as utilities, that can bust a budget in a colder than normal winter.

What has been your base housing experience, good, bad or just plain ugly?

Knott’s Berry Farm Free for Veteran’s in November 2009

From now until Thanksgiving, Knott’s Berry Farm salutes our Veterans! Hope my California readers can take advantage of this deal!

Knott’s Berry Farm pays tribute to past and present U.S. armed forces personnel during Veteran’s Month with free park admission for them and a guest November 1-26 only.  Up to six additional tickets can be purchased for only $15 each.  Military ID or DD214 required for discount.  Not valid for our evening event – Halloween Haunt.

Making it in the Military ~ Surviving Deployment

Making it in the Military ~ Surviving Deployment at The Happy Housewife

The following is a guest post from my friend Monica. You must visit her site, she has great content, but she also has the most fabulous hair of anyone I have ever seen!

Monica is the mom of three precious preschoolers who keep her on toes at all times. She has been married to her husband, Keith, for eight years. Keith is a Chaplain in the Army and they are currently assigned to an overseas post in Germany. You can find her writing about family, faith, and the military on her blog Daily Dwelling.

Deployments and separations have become a way of life for military families. They are hard….very hard, but they are also survivable.

Our family has been through two deployments. They have been very different from one another. During my husband’s first deployment of twelve months, my twins were babies and we lived close to family, but away from the Army post that he was stationed out of. During his second deployment of fourteen months, I had three small ones to take care of and we were living in Germany, away from the support of civilian friends and family.

Each situation had its ups and downs, its pros and cons, but we made it through them both.

Surviving and Thriving in a Deployment

Plan

Before the deployment begins, accept it and begin planning. Plan for how you will communicate with your loved one and how your family will function during this time of separation. Plan for emergencies. Plan for the worse case scenarios. No, some of these are not things that we want to think about, but if we don’t they will catch us completely off guard. Having a plan in place is often more than half the battle.

Communicate

Just because your spouse is serving the country away from you doesn’t mean that they have to be cut out of your life. There are so many ways, especially because of technology, to keep communication open. Before the deployment takes place, sit down and talk about your expectations for communication. Things may change once they are downrange, but again, having a plan and being honest about your needs and/or expectations can prevent a lot of hurt feelings.

During my husband’s first deployment, he wrote a letter every single day. Yes, I have all of them saved. We also talked on the phone almost daily, but we used e-mail very sparingly and did not talk via web cam at all. During his second deployment, we e-mailed and talked on the phone on a daily basis. We also used skype to talk over web cam a lot during the latter part of his deployment. This gave the children a very tangible way to stay in touch with their Daddy.

Find a support system

You will have days that you struggle. You or your kids may get sick. You may just need a break at some point. This will all come through your support system. You may create your own support through friends from church, family members, friends within the military community, online communities, the Family Readiness Group, or any combination of those, but you will need to have one. The deployment will be so much harder than it has to be if you try to do it all on your own.

Become involved

Whether it be in your community, church, your kids’ school, a spouse’s club, or a playgroup, get involved in something! There can be a temptation to isolate yourself and not get out and enjoy life, but life has to go on and getting involved in something can help you to overcome that temptation.

Take advantage of resources

The Army, and I’m sure the other branches of the military as well, have many programs in place to help relieve the burden that is caused by deployments. Check into them and take advantage as much as you can. The Family Readiness Group is your resource to find out what is going on in your spouse’s unit and can be a great outlet for finding information about the resources that are available. The Army Family Covenant provided extra respite hours of childcare, a reduced hourly childcare rate, free programs for children and youth to participate in, and child care for FRG meetings. I was able to take advantage of all of these and they really helped to relieve some of the stress of the deployment. Yes, they all involve childcare, but that is a huge issue for families!

Accept help

There are many people out there that want to support the military and military families. They are more than willing to help in any way that they can. Army spouses can be a proud bunch that prides themselves on being independent and self-sufficient (I am and I do!). It can be a humbling experience to accept offers of help, but I have found many times that it often does more for the person that is doing the helping than the person being helped. When you refuse help, you are refusing someone the privilege of being a blessing to you! So, swallow your pride and accept those genuine offers of help!

Set goals

Before, during and even as you near the end of the deployment, sit down and write out goals for yourself and your family during this time. I had many goals. Some I achieved, some I didn’t, but having a goal gave me something to work towards during the hard times.

Be realistic

Don’t expect too much of yourself. You probably won’t achieve all of those goals that you set and you will have bad days. Don’t expect that you won’t. Be realistic with yourself and with this time in your life. At the end of the deployment, be ready to celebrate just for making it through, because that in itself is a huge accomplishment!

Room Time for Babies and Toddlers

From the time my children are little I work to make room time a fun experience. Room time is when my children play in a safe environment, such as their bedroom, crib, or pack n play. I utilize room time when I need to get something done, that if the child were with me, it would be difficult to complete the task.  Important phone calls, cooking certain foods, or giving a test to an older child are some instances when I use room time for my smaller children.

When my children are 5 to 6 months old, I lay them in their crib and wind up the mobile or put on some fun music. I usually stay in the room, talking to them and encouraging them. If the child is happy, this lasts 10 to 15 minutes. If the child is unhappy, I try to calm them down, but after 5 minutes I pick them up.

I repeat this every day, to help my child enjoy spending a small amount of time alone. As they grow older I increase the time by a few minutes every week. By the time my child is a year, they are able to spend 30 to 45 minutes happily playing in their crib.

As the child is older and able to sit up, I add a few age appropriate toys in the crib. These toys only are played with during this time, so the child usually looks forward to their time  alone.

I use a monitor so I can hear the child, if I am not in the room.

Room time is beneficial in many ways.

It helps the child spend time alone. I have found that some kids love to be alone, and others have a very hard time entertaining themselves, even for a few minutes. Starting room time when your child is young, helps your child entertain themselves even if only for a short amount of time.

It gives mom a break. I know many moms spend 12-14 hours a day, wiping noses, changing diapers, picking up toys, solving problems, folding laundry, cooking meals, and shuttling kids around town.  Even 15 to 30 minutes of quiet can give mom a much needed break in the middle of the day.

It provides a safe environment for the child. Mom needs to take a shower. Baby loves to pull electrical cords from the outlet. Letting that child play in their crib for 20 minutes keeps the child safe while the mother is unavailable to monitor every move. It can also protect the child from well meaning siblings. I have often placed a baby on their play mat and walked outside to check the mail or to hang clothes. I return to find my toddler picking up the baby because they wanted to be “helpful.” Placing the baby in the crib, with a safety gate to keep the toddler out keeps the baby safe from unsupervised helping hands.

Toddlers who are no longer in their crib, spend room time in their rooms. I put up a baby gate so they are unable to wander around the house. Their rooms are safe, and there is usually nothing in the room that could harm a child. I turn on fun music, and pull out a special box of toys, only available during room time. My little ones begin to look forward to this special time in their room.

Making it in the Military – Emergency Readiness

Making_It_in_the_Military
The following is a guest post from Nancy Parode of About.com. She is a military wife, and a great friend in real life. She is covering a topic near and dear to her heart and one that can be applied to any family, not just those in the military

Skills You Don’t Know You Need to Know

When I was a teenager and learning to drive, way back when in sunny southern California, my father insisted on teaching me to drive in snow during a family ski trip. I protested mightily. After all, I lived in L.A. Driving in snow and ice was a skill I would never need.

Right.

Fast forward a bunch of years, to a duty station in the mountains of West Virginia. From the moment I arrived there, other military spouses asked me whether I was worried about driving in the mountains. Uh, no, I thought – Dad taught me to drive on roads like these long ago. When winter arrived, I was ready. I memorized the shady spots on the road after my first few trips up the slush-covered mountain road, because I noticed they did not thaw out.

My husband bought snow tires for my van and helped me put together a survival kit. On super-icy days, we all stayed home. Better to be stuck indoors, we reasoned, than to risk our safety in a bad storm.

Advance Planning

I’ve always planned for natural disasters; it comes from growing up in earthquake country. I even took a class on earthquakes at UCLA (great information but too much physics). My parents taught my brother and me to develop an emergency plan, create a food pantry and carry supplies in our cars. Because you can’t predict an earthquake, the only thing you really can do is prepare. Stash some food, water and medical supplies, set up an emergency contact plan, decide what you’ll do if you get stranded and – well, that’s the best you can do.

When I married the Navy, I quickly discovered that there were other types of emergencies. First on the list was emergency evacuation of family members. At our first duty station, I attended mandatory NEO training and learned how to pack an emergency kit, plan for a nuclear attack and prepare for several days on an Italian beach, waiting for rescue. It was completely frightening, but I went home and put all of our important documents into a tote bag, discussed evacuation plans with my husband and got on with life. At every duty station since, I’ve kept our important papers in an easily-accessed box.

We Navy spouses learn fairly quickly that we need to be ready to handle natural disasters by ourselves. Why? Well, ships are very expensive to build, and the Navy prefers to keep those assets safe. Whenever a big storm threatens a Navy base, the ships put out to sea – fully manned. That’s how I lived through two hurricanes on my own. Fortunately, I had discussed all of the hurricane-related issues with my husband months before he put out to sea. Having a plan literally saved my sanity, even though it didn’t save my second-floor ceiling.

Over the last 20-plus years, I’ve lived in a brush fire area (southern California) earthquake territory (Italy), hurricane zones (Virginia), tornado country (wherever you have hurricanes, you can have tornadoes) and even a deer-infested winter wonderland (West Virginia). In each place, I’ve worked with my husband and children to create an emergency plan. My husband and son, both Boy Scouts, and my Girl Scout daughter completely understand my need to prepare. Once we have a plan and supplies, I tell them, we can sleep easily – we’ve done everything we can.

Think, Learn, Practice, Prepare

Think outside the box

My parents decided to purchase a generator, install child locks on cabinets and tether heavy items to their walls after a strong earthquake flung dishes, nail polish, paint and medications out of cupboards and drawers onto their floors. After they cleaned up the huge mess, they decided they never wanted to deal with it again.

If you’re moving into hurricane territory, walk around your property. Think about which areas might flood (basements?) and decide how you’ll secure your large windows (plywood? tape?). If your new duty station is located in Tornado Alley, decide where you’ll shelter in your home, office and out in town if a tornado forms.

Living in the mountains? Decide which roads are safest during snowstorms and make sure you have an emergency kit in each car you drive. Don’t wait until disaster strikes to think about these key survival issues; that is way, way too late.

Educate yourself

When you move to a new duty station, ask about natural disasters and other local issues. You can’t prepare if you don’t know what to expect. This is particularly important if you’re stationed overseas; you’ll need to figure out how the local emergency response system works, which words to use and how to call for help if you need it.

Consider the bad guys

You know, those terrorist people. Yes, I have a plan for a dirty bomb attack. I know how much time I will probably have to evacuate, and I know enough about wind patterns to decide on the best route at the last minute. My document box is ready; I am pretty sure I could get kids, pets and documents out the door in less than half an hour. Obviously, this won’t help if a bomb explodes down the block, but I think I’m as prepared as I can be.

Acquire essential skills

If I were in charge of the world, everyone would learn how to drive a car with a manual transmission, build a fire, practice basic first aid, cook outdoors, correctly store food and water, read a map (not a GPS unit) and drive in snow. Why? Because so many things go wrong when people try to do these things in emergency situations.

Every year people die because they try to bring their charcoal barbecues indoors during snowstorms; they don’t know that the fumes can kill them. Every time we have an ice storm where I live, horrific accidents happen because drivers don’t know how to deal with zero traction on the road and don’t have the sense to stay home. Even worse, many military folks I know find themselves stranded while on temporary or PCS orders because the only rental cars available have manual transmissions.

If you can’t drive a stick shift car, get someone to teach you. Wouldn’t you hate to be unable to reach a hospital because you couldn’t drive the only available car?

Assemble important documents

This makes more sense for military folks than for anyone else. You move every two or three years – do you know where your insurance policies are? Do you know what they cover? Where are your shot cards and medical records? What about rabies certificates for your pets? If you put all these essential items together in one place, you can lay hands on them quickly if disaster strikes.

Organize your emergency pantry

You should, at minimum, have three days’ food and water (two gallons per person per day) stashed away. You should also set aside medicines, pet food, diapers and other essential supplies. Your can opener and radio should be hand-cranked in case the power goes out for several days. The FEMA website has many excellent suggestions for anyone wanting to set up an emergency pantry. Remember to include cooking pots, utensils and fuel (charcoal, wood, etc.).

Your emergency pantry should also include cash – cash you have on hand right now. If a storm or earthquake strikes, your local ATM won’t work. How will you pay for an out-of-town hotel room or gasoline for your car without your stash of cash?

Learn to survive outdoors

That emergency pantry won’t help you if you can’t use it. Practice cooking outside – make it a family picnic – and think about how you’ll use your food and water if you’re stranded at home with no utilities for several days.

Practice

Remember grade school fire drills? You should be holding similar drills at home, preferably every month while your children are young. If an emergency arises, your training will kick in and everyone will know exactly what to do. Every time you move, make a new escape plan for your home and practice, practice, practice. This goes double for anyone stationed in tornado territory.

Making emergency responses automatic is essential if a tornado is bearing down on your home or car. You won’t have time to think about what to do. Practicing beforehand will allow your self-preservation instincts to kick in when you need them most.

Insure against disaster

If you own a home, your fire policy will protect you against most – but not all – disasters. Floods and earthquakes are special cases and you will probably need to take out special policies to insure yourself against their effects. If you live on base or rent, get a renter’s insurance policy to protect your possessions. Renter’s insurance is inexpensive compared to the cost of replacing everything you own. Be sure to ask about getting a special policy, called a “rider,” for computers, jewelry and other high-value items.

Extend your plan

Contact far-away family members and set up an emergency communications plan. Decide who will accept all the “I’m okay” calls and make sure everyone has that person’s telephone numbers. In case of a real emergency, text messaging is the best way to contact family; text messages don’t tie up the cell phone system the way voice calls do. Make sure older family members can read and send text messages; this is not an intuitive skill for many cell phone users.

In my family, everyone knows to call me if an earthquake hits; I live in a different state, one without earthquake risks, and will be able to follow up on missing family members long after their local phone service goes down. (Guess how we know? We’ve had to do this once already.)

Don’t panic (and never travel without your towel)

Douglas Adams fans will recognize this slogan, which actually offers excellent advice. If you’re prepared, know where you’ll go if you need to evacuate and have a plan for those almost-unplannable moments, you will be calm when disaster strikes. You won’t dither or worry; instead, you will switch to disaster mode and execute your plan. The towel? Very handy. Besides functioning in the obvious way, your towel can be a blanket, rain shield, sunshade, emergency beacon, pet bed, baby changing pad, pillow…let your imagination run wild.

The Bottom Line

As a military family member, you face more disaster preparedness challenges than most people ever think about. Every duty station comes with a new list of potential problems, and it’s up to you to learn about them. In the end, the difference between disaster and survival stares you in the face each morning during tooth-brushing time – and it’s you.

You can educate yourself, acquire skills, accumulate supplies and practice with your family. Even if no one else in your family wants to think about this stuff, you can help everyone prepare. And if you prepare, you will survive.

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

The following a guest post from my friend Kelly, who I was fortunate to meet in real life at BlogHer 09.

Kelly is a wife and mother of four young children.  Residing in Texas, she and her family enjoy playing together, family movie nights, and friendly theological debate.  While mostly kept busy homeschooling, baking, cooking, cleaning, or sewing, she does take time to blog at Wisdom Begun.  One day she and her husband hope to own a family farm where they will attempt to turn back a hundred years.

Growing Up Brat

My father and mother married a year after high school. During that time my father enlisted in the military.  When I was still very young he went through Warrant Officer training and became a helicopter instructor pilot.  I have many photos of me as a young child wearing my orange “I love a WOC” t-shirt.  Eventually he would retire after 20 years of faithful service as a Chief Warrant Officer 4.

Baby Kelly - Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

We did not live on or near base for some of our military years.  My father was last “stationed” at a small National Guard Unit in Florida.  We were church members, but as there were no other military families in that congregation for quite a while, no one could quite comprehend what our lives were like.  Very few families could identify with such a demanding job. Yet there were many blessings to growing up in the military.  I saw a different side to life.

I had never known a civilian life.  I only knew a life in which dad was gone a lot but we always felt his love.  A life in which it was normal to hear a helicopter flying over our house continuously at 11 o’clock at night and realize hey! that’s my dad.  Of course being overwhelmed by the spotlights he shown on us as we stood out on the driveway might not be par for the course.  But still, that was life.  Our life consisted of shopping at the commissary and getting 20 something boxes of cereal for less than cost.  Or running around the PX at nine years old, searching for my father to tell him that mom was in labor and on her way to the hospital.  Or, missing your dad for 4 weeks because he is down in Miami rescuing hurricane Andrew victims in his helicopter.

Kelly and Dad - Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

I look back now and question myself as to whether or not I would have it any other way.  I would not.  You remember all those little anecdotes I shared with you earlier?  Those gave me my view on life.  I know now that Dad worked so very hard in a job which many may not understand.  He worked whenever he was needed whether that be in the middle of the night or during the day or for weeks on end with no break.  He is a very disciplined and orderly person.  The Army taught him that.  My mother tirelessly raised a houseful – and by houseful I mean 9 children – and homeschooled us as well.  She held down the fort as Dad went on various missions and trainings that left him necessarily absent.  I have seen very few women who are as strong mentally as she is.  She never ever complained to anyone about having to parent by herself and rarely asked for outside help. I always hope to emulate her ability to get done what has to get done.

As for me, I learned that no family is the same and that is okay.  I learned teamwork.  I learned respect for what was needed to protect our country, often at the cost of spending more time with one’s family.  Growing up without my dad around all of the time was hard at times but I knew why it was necessary.  I learned respect for our country and our flag that is sadly going away.

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife

In reality growing up in the military really isn’t all that different.  I was still a little girl who loved to play dolls and ride my bike outside.  Our family laughed and played together perhaps even more so than any other family.  Watching sports, eating out, visiting the zoo: we made time for that.  Other families may not have gotten up at 3am to view the Hale Bop comet through night vision goggles, but we still enjoyed our time together.

That’s just how life was.

Making it in the Military ~ Life as a Military Kid at The Happy Housewife