Month: October 2009

Our guest post today is from Ann Marie, an Army wife, who is currently stationed in Germany. A SAHM of 3 children under age 4, her hobbies (when she has time!) include blogging, photography, cooking, sewing, and gardening. You can find her at her writing at Thoughts and Musings of Ann Marie.

Deployments with small children

I am a relatively “new” military wife, in that we’ve only been married about 5 years… but you could call me a somewhat “seasoned” army wife, in that my husband has deployed to Iraq 3 times and we just had our third baby! For this article I will often be referring to my “soldier” and “daddy” being deployed – I do realize there are both men and women deployed in all the branches of our armed forces – it’s just for simplicities sake. 🙂

I am no expert when it comes to deployments… but I can share what we have done in our family to help our children cope with Daddy being away. One important lesson I have learned is that I have to take care of myself in order to care for our children – this doesn’t mean a daily facial and large portions of chocolate covered strawberries…. Getting enough rest, some sort of exercise routine, eating healthy, and spending time with other spouses are a few good suggestions. Once a week during this last deployment, I would put my two boys in daycare for 4 hours. This was MY time… I could run errands, catch up on household chores, or just take a hot bubble bath and paint my toes… As parents, we often put ourselves last on the list – but if you don’t keep refilling your cup, you can’t overflow into your children.

Infants (birth to 2yrs.)

While I was pregnant with our first child, I recorded my husband reading stories to my belly. While Daddy is deployed, I play it at bedtime – so our children fall asleep listening to him tell stories. I also saved some of his worn t-shirts, put them in freezer Ziploc bags, and periodically pull them out during the deployment so our children are familiar with his smell… (not stinky BO smell! but nice Daddy-Man smell!) I also have pictures everywhere… literally everywhere… I print 8×10 pictures with our printer, and hang them on the fridge, closet doors, and even sideways by the changing table… everywhere our little people spend time.

Young children (2-4yrs)

Sesame street has created a wonderful video series called “Talk, Listen, Connect” to help young children understand deployment. (They are free to download from their website.) The also have great suggestions for activities for while your soldier is deployed – print out calendars and make Xs on days until homecoming or talk to Daddy on the phone or via webcam if possible.

There are lots of different organizations such as Operation Hug-a-Hero and Dog Tags for Kids where you can order things to help your children stay connected with their deployed soldier. There are also many new children’s books about deployment that can help your child express some of what they are going through (search children deployment on amazon and you’ll find a ton).

The internet is a good place to find information and resources to help you and your child cope with deployment. Here are a few good links I discovered while researching this post:

• MilitaryFamily.org
• Surviving Deployment.com
• DeploymentKids.com

If you are a military family who has been through a deployment – What are the things that really helped you? What did you learn about your children? How did you stay connected?

The following is a guest post from a fellow military spouse who has taken advantage of an awesome opportunity provided to military spouses.  Rachel Perez runs a Copywriting, Editing and Proofreading Services website.

Rachel says:

I am very happily married to my husband of eight years and we have two children, a five-year-old son and a nine-month old daughter.  After struggling in corporate America for four years after his graduation from college, my husband decided to follow through on something he’d wanted to do for several years – join the Army.  He left for Basic Training in October 2008, and we moved to our first duty station (1700 miles from home) in June 2009.

I taught high school science for eight years in Texas, and simply assumed that I would be able to find a teaching job in New Jersey.  In Texas, a person with a bachelor’s degree can get a teaching job and work on obtaining certification during their first year of teaching, so I thought I would be able to do something similar in New Jersey.  I applied for eight or ten jobs and received not one single phone call.  As August approached, it became clear that I would not be teaching during the 2009/2010 school year because I didn’t have my New Jersey teaching license.

I spoke to a woman at the Army Community Service on our post regarding their Employment Readiness Program.  She directed me to Military One Source and told me that they had funding available for education of military spouses.  I will admit that, at first, the Military One Source website was overwhelming; they have so much information.  After creating an account with the site, I eventually called the toll-free number to get more specific directions. I was directed to the My Career Advancement Account (MyCAA) information and account creation pages.

Military One Source allows for up to $6000 in funding for spouses of active duty members (including activated National Guard and Reservists) to further their education in a portable career.  An incredibly wide variety of careers qualify.  This funding can be used to take courses that will result in a degree, license, or certification.   Military One Source provides MyCAA consultants to help spouses create Career Plans and choose appropriate coursework.

Military One Source has already established connections with hundreds of schools, so registering and making payment for coursework at those schools is very simple.  Additionally, if a spouse would like to take courses at a school that has not already formed an agreement with Military One Source, there are instructions for getting that school to contact Military One Source and make those arrangements.

My personal experience with MyCAA could have been a bit better.  I had to make several different phone calls to get information about making my career plan, received a different set of instructions each time and then did not receive return calls.  Finally, I insisted that the MyCAA consultant stay on the phone with me while I arranged for my coursework.  She walked me through each step successfully as I negotiated their online registration.  I then had to call the school I had chosen and let them know that the funding for my coursework would be through Military One Source.  The person I spoke to at the school took my information, double-checked with Military One Source, and called me back in 10 minutes to confirm my acceptance, registration and enrollment.  I started on my coursework that very afternoon.

The very best part about this process is that I never had to make a payment.  I didn’t have to wonder if I would get reimbursed or lose money due to misinformation or a technicality.  Military One Source makes payment directly to the school.

I would have been able to use this funding to obtain my New Jersey teaching certificate, but I’ve decided to go a different direction with my career.  For several years, I’ve looked at becoming a freelance writer, but I never had the time or funds to invest in it.  MyCAA has allowed me to take an online program that will result in a Technical Writing certification.

My advice for military spouses is to visit MyCAA and get started.  Be persistent with the MyCAA consultants.  This funding is there for the taking, so get after it!